Secretly His

~Chapter 21~

"Tell me about your childhood."

|Tanaé|
I hate talking about my past. It's to heavy for me.

"I mean what do you want to know?"

"Anything. Everything. Let start with how you grew up. What was that like?"

"It was a shitty way of growing up." I told her with a little bit of attitude. It just came out.

She looked up at me and smiled. What the heck is funny?

"Okay. Would you care to explain what that means. What was so "shitty" about it." She did little quotations in the air when she said shitty.

"Well my mom and dad died when I was three. I went to live with my aunt, then she committed suicide when I was four. I found her in the tub under water. After that of course they put me in foster care. Is that detailed enough for you doc?"

"Listen hon, I'm here to help you. If your past is what's keeping you from moving on then that what I need to know so I can help you." She told. I know she's right but I hate talking about this.

"I know doc it's just that this is a hard subject for me."

"Okay and that fine. We can start off slow. Tell me some positive things about your childhood."

That was definitely a tough one.

"Uhm. I don't know. My mom. I still have images of her."

"Okay. That's a start."

"Let me ask you this. Why didn't you go with family after your aunt past?"

Uhg I knew she was going to ask this.

"They all dead to me. I don't mess with them."

"I sense a bit resentment towards them. Let's talk about that."

"I don't mess with them. They are here living but I'm not trying to go no family reunion or some shit like that."

"Why. What have they don't that has made you feel like that towards them?"

"They left me out there! How you let a four year go to foster care? I have three aunts besides the one that past. I got two uncles and a grandmother. None of them took me in! I been through hell and back while they was all just chilling! That's some bullshit. Everything I went through while I was in foster care I blame on them. I hate them! I fucking HATE all of them!" By now I couldn't stop the tears.

"This is good, you need to bring this up so you can let it go. Tanaé, sometimes you have to forgive and forget."

"I don't think so. I've have been raped countless of times, I have been passed around like a pack of cigarettes. While they got to sit around the dinner table and be one big ass happy family, I was out there trying to protect myself from the next low life child molester! By age 16 I already had two abortions! It's a
miracle that I have my three kids today."

"Have they ever tried to contact you?"

"Yeah. Few years ago. My aunt called talking about the family wants to get to know me and she even had the nerve to say how much trouble they went through to find me. What kind of shit is that."

She smirked and asked, "What did you say back?"

"Well, I told her what any other sensible person would."

"And that was...?"

"Fuck you and that so called family. You bitches wouldn't have to have found me if someone would've stepped up! Then I hung up."