Unbreakable

Chapter 41: I'll Be

Chapter 41: I’ll Be

In my mind, I always pictured myself dying from a long, brought out illness- gray-haired and surrounded by grandchildren-until I realized how damn lucky I actually was.

What I held in my arms-I’d die for that. For Holden, for Chase, for Jill, for Teddy… for Keene.

I’d be anything they needed.

I valued them… more than my own life. I wouldn’t, I couldn’t desert them.

Death never scared me, especially if I was the one dying. Without another breath, another heartbeat I would’ve jumped in front of a bullet for any of them.

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The days seemed to go by in a blink. All of the memories we had with our kids went in fast forward.

The first day home with them, and the long night after, the first time in the snow, their 1st, 2nd, 3rd , and 4th birthdays.

Like I’d established long ago, our lives would never be perfect. Four years had passed. Keene was 23, and I was 22.

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Jillian was with me, now 21, when things got bad once more. We were with the kids eating lunch; Keene had been setting up dad’s house for us to move into with Teddy.

“Mommy, I want some ice cream.” Holden said.

“Honey, you have to eat your peanut butter and jelly first.” Jillian told him before I could.

“Okay, Aunt Jilly,” He responded, taking a big bite of his sandwhich.

I noticed Chase sitting quietly, picking her at her sandwhich.

“What’s the matter, baby?” I asked, running my hand through her satin, black hair.

She looked up at me with big brown eyes.

“Mommy…I…can’t…breathe,” She said, a gasp between every word.

Jill and I both looked at each other, panicked.

I picked her up in my arms.

“Okay, come on!” I said to Jill.

We carted out the door to the car.

“Jill, sit with Chase!” I directed strapping Chase into her car seat as Jill strapped Holden into his.

I jumped in the driver’s seat and we took off.

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket.

“Keene?”

“Hey, Kamie,”

“Meet us at the hospital.”

“Why? What happened? Are you okay?”

“It’s not me. Just be there!”

“Okay,” It was more of a question than a response.

Chase started coughing.

“Jill, is she okay?”

“You have to hurry, Kam!”

I took a deep breath. “Please.” I prayed.

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“She had an allergic reaction to peanut butter.” A doctor told us; Keene was still not here.

“Peanut butter? Damn it! I gave her peanut butter!” I yelled. I layed my hand on Jill’s shoulder.

A little hand lifted my head up. “Don’t be sad, Momma.” Holden said.

He crawled off of Jill’s lap and onto mine, throwing his arms around my neck.

He was such a momma’s boy.

“What’s going on?” Another voice asked.

I looked up. “Oh, Keene!” I exclaimed, clinging to him, Holden in my arms. Keene’s arms tightened around me.

Jillian explained everything, mostly because I couldn’t.

“Oh, honey. Don’t feel guilty.” Keene said to me once Jill had finished.

“Would you all like to see her?” Another doctor asked us.

We nodded. “Oh, it’s family only.” She added, gesturing towards Jill.

“She is family. She’s their aunt…. She’s my sister.” I objected.

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Chase was herself the entire time she was in the hospital, even with all the tubes and wires she was attached to.

She laughed at the butterflies painted wall and constantly asked Jillian about makeup and dresses.

Holden was the shy, sweet little boy he was. He always held Chase’s hand when they gave her an injection of medicine or got scared.

They slept in Chase’s hospital bed.

I  fell asleep in a chair with Keene.

“Forever is a long time, but I wouldn’t mind spending it by your side,” I told him randomly.

He kissed me, “Never forget me.”

We didn’t know that the next week, we’d be fighting for our lives.