Fears To Face

∞ Chapter 1 ∞

~ Kayley ~

It was a sunny day when I got out of bed. Exactly the kind of spring day I was hoping for. The winter had been cold and long and seemed to last forever, but with streams of sunlight coming through my red curtains I woke up with a smile on my face.

Mom was probably working already and I figured dad was out of the house too. So I slowly wandered to the bathroom where I got dressed and went downstairs. There I found a note on the kitchen sink from my mom.

Honey,

First, good morning!

It’s such a sunny day! I hope you love it as much as I do. I wanted to ask you if you would like to go to the store for me. I’m not going to be home before the shops are closed and I need flour, sugar and butter for the cake we will bake tomorrow.

You will find the recipe left from this note, I am sure you will find it.

Thanks honey,

Love, your mom

I rolled my eyes, smiling. It was such a typical thing for my mother to forget about little things like ingredients for a cake we would bake and send me off to get them. Though I didn’t mind to buy them. I liked to wander through the town centre and look into the show window’s whether they had something special to offer or not and since it was Saturday I didn’t have to go to school. So, what was there to do otherwise?

A pleasant sound came from the living room. I peeked through the kitchen door and saw the back of my brothers black-haired head on the couch. He was playing guitar. “Woke up early, huh?” I said, walking in his direction and wrapping my arms around his neck, “Doesn’t happen often.”

“Yeah well, I had to practice for the rehearsals and… Wait, that’s not true. I wake up early all the time,” he said indignant.

“I know, just kidding,” I laughed, kissed him on his cheek, let go of his neck and walked to the couch where he sat on and sat down next to him. “Mom’s out already?”

“Yeah, she said it she had a lot of work to do, because she wasn’t there last week.”

“Aahh…” There was it again. We never seemed to be able to not think about my mother’s ‘problem’ for a long time and since it happened ten days ago, it was still fresh in our minds, well, my mind anyway.

“It’s not her fault you now,” Sam said, noticing my mood change.

“I know, but that doesn’t make it any easier.” I stood up and walked back to the kitchen. “Oh Sam, did you have breakfast already? I can make you some if you like?”

I heard Sam laugh in the living room, then the couch sighed and within ten seconds he stood in the doorway. “I’ve had breakfast already, but thanks for the offer.” I looked back at him and he smiled. His smile always made a smile appear on my face too, so I smiled back. We had a special bond which I truly loved. We were closer than most siblings I knew, but I didn’t want to have it any other way.

“Will you have a busy day today? With the rehearsals and all?” I took a bread out the drawer and dumped it on the kitchen sink.

Sam worked with his lips. “I’m not sure. It depends on how fast Trevor will be able to get the lyrics run along with the melody.” He sighed. Trevor was loved in the band my brother was in, but he had some trouble to get to work when it was needed sometimes. I took milk and butter from the fridge and slammed the door shut. I felt eyes on my back, so I turned to Sam. I looked up at him. His tight black skinny jeans, spiky belt, black band-shirt and his long thick black hair, the thin ends resting on his shoulders while the first locks got shorter each, surrounding the sides of his smiling face with thick strays of hair and covered one of his eyes with a long lock.

I liked his appearance, it was a part of him, but his way of dressing was not appreciated by everyone. Next to his band members he never had many friends and some people looked at him in a disapproving way when he passed them. It’s stupid how people judge you for what you’re wearing. Well, that’s how I thought about it anyway. No one knew how good Sam was on the inside. Luckily he learned to deal with it through the years. It didn’t hurt him as much as it did in the past anymore.

“Do you see something interesting?” I asked and I couldn’t help smiling either.

“Is it a crime to look at my little sister?” he teased, cocking his eyebrow.

I groaned. “I’m just two years younger than you, remember?”

Sam laughed hard, opened a cupboard and took a glass. “It’s funny how you always react the same way when I say that.”

I turned back to my bread, sulking. “You remind me of it too often.” He laughed. I took a deep breath and waved away my small irritation. “Anyway, what I wanted to ask you, mom asked me to buy the supplies for the cake tomorrow. In for going with me?” I asked, walking past him with my breakfast I and taking a seat on the kitchen table.

“Uhm… I still have to practice with the guys.”

“I know, but that won’t take all day, will it?”

Sam’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He slid it out and read his text. “Yeah, it will… sorry sis. Trevor just texted me that he’s delayed. He slept in, but he will come as soon as he can, so he wants me to get over to Greg’s already.”

“Not fair.” I sulked. Sam stood up from the kitchen table, went to the hallway and put his coat on. “When will you be home?” I asked, not expecting a useful answer.

“Dunno, I’ll make sure I’ll be back for dinner.”

“It’s eleven in the morning! Don’t say you’re going to leave me all alone all day,” I pleaded, knowing it was useless.

He peeked his head through the doorway one more time. “Sorry, didn’t mean to, love ya, bye.” His head disappeared and the front door opened and closed and then it was just me.

“Great,” I mumbled as I washed my plate. I grabbed the recipe and walked to the hallway to get my coat. I wasn’t going to spend a sunny day like this within these four walls and since I couldn’t call Gwyn or Mallory to spend some time together, I would go alone.

It seemed like the warmth of spring made everyone gather downtown. The square was filled with people with bags talking to each other, laughing or having a little fight between a mother and a four-year-old, because she wanted an ice-cream, but her mother had spent too much money already. Across the street there was an outdoor café completely filled. I went to the supermarket and the music store and some others stores.

With my head up to the clear blue sky I walked past a musician playing accordion and woman standing next to him sang. I was done so I was on my way back to my bike. I quickened my pace, content smile on my face, enjoying the sun and the people when out of nothing I bumped into someone.

I looked up, taking in the muscular chest, board shoulders in a black leather jacket. Whoever I had walked in to was tall. I had to bend my neck to be able to see his lightly tanned face. He had a sharp jawline, full pink lips, brown hair that was sided to the left by the wind at front and dark-brown eyebrows. As I looked into his eyes with thick lashes my breath stopped. I could feel the colour leave my face, I wanted stop it, but I couldn’t.

All the people that walked around me till three seconds ago seemed to disappear.

Every sound faded away.

I couldn’t think straight. I stumbled backward, snapped my head down so I looked straight ahead and away from his eyes. I tried to fix my expression, but I wasn’t sure if it was successful.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled and paced around him. All I wanted was to get away from the slightly orange grey eyes and his muscular body. I hurried to my bike with a fast, steady pace that I hoped he wouldn’t take in as me running away and unlocked my bike. I didn’t dare to look back at him, fearing he would still look at me. I fiercely hoped I didn’t made him suspicious by my fast take off, but I couldn’t check because that would make him suspicious.