Fears To Face

∞ Chapter 3 ∞

~ Kayley ~

I watched TV, tried to make homework, I even made cupcakes to get my mind off him. Nothing helped. He kept appearing in my view; his muscular body underneath a navy blue T-shirt, his face blocking the sun from mine, his big orange-grey eyes.

Those eyes never left me alone. I was probably going to be home alone till five o’clock and I wasn’t sure if I was able to calm myself down in time in our bright white, but also shadowy living room. I knew Gwyn was busy and I promised her I wouldn’t interrupt, but I needed distraction.

I didn’t even know why I was still freaking out about it, to be honest. I got away, it was definitely possible I would never see him again, so why was it so hard to get him of my mind? I sat down on our couch one more time. His sudden appearance made me think back to just over a week ago. It had been full moon. We had seen it coming, I checked the moon twice a week to know how fast it would come, the last week mostly every single night. Sam didn’t seem to struggle with my mother’s  ‘family problem’ as much as I did. I didn’t know why.

Every full moon, my mom would turn into a werewolf for one night till the sun rose again. If that would have been everything, I wouldn’t have been so scared. I wish that was it, but no. She went from loving, careful mother to the complete opposite. Her wolf instincts were building up two days before the full moon. First she would become crabby. Her crankiness would turn into something stronger and more aggressive. Slowly the wolf poison would let her loving character disappear and it would make place for real wolf instincts: she would keep her distance from humans,  be aggressive, violent and uncontrollable. She was almost unrecognizable the last day before she turned. She snarled at us all day, didn’t want you closer to her than one yard and if something didn’t go her way, she would start breaking things. Her eyes were glowing orange these two days.

Dad would leave her alone these days. He knew her well enough to know what he could do and what not. With the full moon, she would turn at twelve o’clock in the middle of the night, but she was in the basement under the shed at eight already. After dinner, Dad would go in there and make sure she was as calm as she could possibly get and then he would carefully and slowly put the special more strong handcuffs around her wrists and ankles and would lock the door, three times, as he went out.

He would go back the following morning after sunrise and carry her limp body back in the house into her bed. She slept the whole day and when the evening sun slowly set, she woke up, ate a four-person meal on her own and dragged herself back upstairs to sleep until the following morning. She didn’t say a word to us the first day, but she wasn’t awake much of it either. On the second one she was herself and had her own brown eyes again, with the slightest shade of orange in it.

That’s how I recognized what he was. With his own grey eyes it was easier to see the orange flowing in them, although it just had been full moon. With his eyes the memories of my mother’s last turn came back to me, something I tried to avoid at all times.

Suddenly, I knew what I needed. There was one place in this world where I always was able to clear my mind; the beach. With the fresh, salty wind coming from the ocean and the birds flying in the air. I grabbed my jacket and a blanket and took our back door. Walking was way easier since the beach was close to our home. I couldn’t help to peer into our backyard before I opened the door and I felt stupid for doing so immediately. I crossed the yard and within ten minutes I passed the first sand dune where I found a path down to the beach. There was only a small part of the coast where you could actually come by the water without having to throw yourself off a cliff here. I was so lucky to have one of the very few parts right behind our house. As soon as the first salty breeze hit my face, I could feel my body relax. A small smile appeared on my face and I let out a deep breath. I spread out my red blanket close by the water and sat down.