Fears To Face

∞ Chapter 7 ∞

~ Kayley ~

I came home silent. All the emotions from this afternoon were running through my mind over and over again. From happiness to sadness and everything in between.

Mom was running through the kitchen trying not to let the food burn too far in the pans. I slowly walked to the staircase and got upstairs. I crashed down on my bed and looked up at the ceiling. Everything I had told Rayne, everything Rayne had told me, it was all twirling together in my head. Nothing was clear anymore. My fear had disappeared and reappeared again, only for different reasons. I didn’t know what to think about my mother’s conceals. She must have had a reason for that, I told myself, but I couldn’t calm down with that thought completely.

One by one, the images Rayne had drawn for me this afternoon started to separate themselves from each other and became clear again. Rayne’s face when he told me about the first time he turned, why he had to leave his family. His anxious eyes when I was about to leave when I couldn’t bear to hear it anymore, twice. I had changed my mind a thousand times during our conversation. Get the conversation over with – comfort him – leave – hug him – run away and never look back – meet with him again. In the end I decided I couldn’t just leave and forget that the whole conversation had ever happened, so I asked his phone number and he gave it to me without thinking, although I doubt that he actually could think at that moment.

How did I end up asking his number? Crap.

The problem with me was that I wanted to make people happy, and apparently it didn’t even matter that they were a complete stranger and still want that. I wasn’t terrified by him anymore, nor the wolf inside him or in my mother. But I couldn’t say I was completely fearless either. There still were those sudden outbursts that could come without a warning and the last days still freaked me out, although I knew now I didn’t need to fear the wolf. Well, at least not as much as I did.

There was no way I wouldn’t speak with him again, though. All the information he gave me, I wasn’t going to cope with that alone and there was no one else to tell. And apart from my own selfishness there was Rayne, hurt by everything he had gone through. I didn’t want to be like his parents. Neither is father or his mother. No, his mother didn’t want him to leave and yes, she was willing to forgive him for her injury, but she hadn’t been strong enough to tell her husband to get himself together and accept his son for what he was. I sighed.

A quarter later there was a little knock on my door. My door opened slightly and Sam’s head peeked through. “May I come in?”

“Of course, you can always come in Sam,” I assured him.

He smiled and came in. He crossed the room slower than usual and crashed on my bed next to me. “Had a nice day?” he asked.

“It’s going to sound stupid, but I truly have no idea.”

He laughed softly. “It sounds very recognizable.”

I turned my face to him. “Wanna Talk?”

“I know something better then talking,”  he said and there appeared a mischievous smile on his face. Suddenly he started tickling me.

“Oh my god Sam! Stop!” I tried to bring out, but I was laughing too loud. I tried to tickle him back, but I couldn’t get my hands on him. “Mercy! Mercy! Sam, stop!” We fell down to the bed when he finally listened to me and laughed, our breathing hard. I smiled at him. “Thank you. How come you always know exactly what I need?” I asked him.

“Because I’m awesome,” he laughed, but when I looked in his eyes, that sad look never truly had disappeared. I kissed him on his cheek and then my mother called for dinner. We got up laughing and stumbling through the hall, downstairs to the kitchen.