Fears To Face

∞ Chapter 33 ∞

AN: Huge chapter coming up! And you might be getting some answers ;) 

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~ Kayley ~

I was lying on my bed and gazing up at the ceiling. Something I did an awful lot these days. My mind wandered to last week again, playing the scene over in my head for the thousand time.

A week ago, Rayne had come home with me after school and we had lain on my bed. It had been the only afternoon we had spent together in a while, and I thought that meant that he was feeling better again, but I had been wrong. So wrong.

I knew I promised to let him handle whatever he'd been worrying about himself, but I no longer could and since he'd been here, I thought I could confront him. I had become more and more frustrating about his behaviour over the days, he was being very unlike himself and I was done with strange things going on. So I'd perched up to sit straight on my bed and looked at him. His arms lay beside his body, his eyes on the ceiling, gaze faraway again and I frowned at him. "You're acting strange, Rayne. Is there something wrong? You know you can tell me right?"

He shifted his gaze to me, his eyes looking bored. "Nothing is wrong. I'm fine."

But I knew something was up and I wasn't going to give in this easily again. I had given him days to come to me and he hadn't, so I didn't know what else to do than just blurt out my deepest fear. It had been nagging me for days now and it made me feel sick to even say it out loud, but I had to know. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a second. "Are you seeing someone else?"

"What? Where is this coming from? No, of course not. Why would you even ask such a thing?" His eyes narrowed as he dismissed it immediately, but I continued.

Relief flooded me, but only briefly, because it still didn't explain his behaviour. "Then why are you acting so weird? You don't even seem you like being around me anymore."

"What are you talking about?" He sat up too, facing me with a irritated look in his eyes and an edge in his voice. That was so unlike how I knew him.

"I don't mean to be a bitch, Rayne. But you are acting distant all the time, you're always lost in your thoughts, you're acting carefree about everything, including me. What do you expect me to think of that? I wanted to give you time, trust that you would come to me, but you didn't." My voice hit a sad, hurt tone, growing stronger again when I said, "And now I just can't take this any longer. I want to know what's going on."

His eyes left mine for a split second, but it was enough for me to realize I was right and he knew it too. His mouth twisted and when he talked again, his lips were set in a firm line, his voice was furious and his eyes were filled with anger as he laid them on mine. "If you are so frustrated by my behaviour, why don't we break up?"

I gasped. I never ever wanted to give him the idea I wanted to break up. I just wanted him to know what was bothering me. But before I could deny, or explain, or do anything at all, he stood up from my bed and barged out of the door. I jumped up as well and called after him. "No, Rayne wait! I never meant to – "

He thundered down the stairs, his shoulders hunched up.

"Rayne, stop! Please! Please let me explain. I'm just worried! I don't want to break up with you! Please come back. Rayne!"

But it didn't matter what I said, he just kept pacing to his car, slammed the door when he reached it and wheeled out of our driveway, leaving me standing with tears in my wide eyes and my gut twisting painfully.