Fears To Face

∞ Chapter 43 ∞

~ Rayne ~

My body was playing with me. One moment I would feel good, energetic and at ease and the other I could feel nauseated, exhausted and well... like total crap really. I didn't know whether it was because of the stupor I had been in, my drugs, the infection or the fact that I hadn't slept as much as I would normally have after a turn. Or maybe a combination of all.

What I did know was that Kayley stayed close to me all day, checking on me, although she tried to hide it and pretended she always hung out in her room during the weekend. She was drawn to me, like she physically couldn't get far away from me. I couldn't say I didn't like that feeling.

She was smiling all day long, too. When she was lying in her bed with me, when she was looking at me, when she made her homework. Always. Although her eyes shone, there was a small hint of something else hidden in there too, though, something I couldn't decode very well. Disappointment maybe, but she only had that when she thought I wasn't looking at her.

She spent every moment she could with me on the bed, grazing her hand over my body, pressing her nose in my sweatshirt. Like she had to memorize my touch and scent. I couldn't blame her. She had lived five days in disarray, not knowing whether I would ever be human again, not knowing if I would even survive. I didn't know what I would have done when it had been the other way around. I did know that I loved the fact that she couldn't seem to get enough of me.

At some moments though, Kayley would swallow, out of nothing, and her eyes grew dull and sad for a split second. I knew she tried to hide it, but she wasn't very successful. If I'd had to guess, those where the moments she would remember certain moments from last week that had been tough.

I wanted the memories back.

It was hard for me that she was so affected by the memories while I was just blank. I did feel like I missed something, this nagging hollow feeling in my gut, but I just couldn't recall it. No matter how hard I tried it just refused to come back to me, and believe me, I tried.

Kayley told me my mother had called during the week and she was freaking out because she had called me a dozen times and I hadn't answered any of them. I knew I needed to call her now I was able to speak again. Mom picked up at the first beep.

"Rayne?" she breathed.

"Yeah."

"Oh finally, Rayne. What took you so long? Do you have any idea how worried I was? I know you were sick, but you could at least pick up the phone."

I cringed. "I'm sorry, mom."

A heavy breath escaped her. "When will you coming over again?" she asked.

Uhm... "Mom, I'm not fully better yet. It will take another few days before I'm completely me again." Was it so hard that she wouldn't see me for a little bit more than a week? Yeah, I knew she had missed me, but I didn't have to spend every day with her now did I? She didn't even know what had happened.

"Can I come over to your place then?"

I gasped. "No, you can't."

"Why not? We have never been to your place before." She sounded disappointed.

I raked my hand through my hair as I tried to come up with excuses. I couldn't come up with any. "Just some other time, okay?" I told her. She wasn't happy with it, but she didn't have a choice. I was not going to let her see me like this. She hung up soon after that.

I watched Kayley as she was making her homework now. She was fully focused on some assignment, her back to me, and by the way she was sighing annoyed, I figured she had no idea how to make any progress on it. It was maddeningly appealing. I was feeling pretty good for the moment and decided to save her from the torture she was causing her brains. I got up from the bed slowly, not making a sound, the soft sigh from the bed overtaken by the low humming of the radio. I walked to her with a smile on my face. My arms slid around her waist at the same time as I pressed my lips in her neck.