Teach Me How to Love Again (Sequel to Dirty Little Secret)

Chapter 65: That Girl Will Try to Make You Hard

*~(The title of this chapter is from This is Home by blink-182.)~*

*~Sky's P.O.V.~*

That night we went to bed without cuddling again, but that was okay.

The next day, we had to pick out our clothes for the wedding, but we were just hanging out on the couch again. I was resting my head on his shoulder, and he was messing with my hands.

"Do you want me to make breakfast, Gerard?" I asked.

"Um, no. I-I'm not really hungry," he said, then he picked his fingernails awkwardly.

"Gerard, you're not lying to me, are you?" I asked. I remembered that he always picked his nails when he lied when we were dating. Plus, he never missed out on me making breakfast. He used to love my cooking.

"N-no, I'm not just not hungry, I promise."

He was still picking his nails, so I grabbed his hand and looked into his eyes. "Gerard, I know you're lying to me. Why aren't you eating?"

"I just... I know you're not into me anymore. I was hoping you'd want me if I lost the disgusting extra weight I put on."

"Gerard, don't be stupid. Your weight doesn't matter to me. I think you're perfect. I didn't even notice you put on weight. You're still as handsome as ever to me."

"I feel so disgusting," he admitted.

"You're not disgusting, you're the most handsome man I know," I said, and I climbed onto his lap. I brushed his messy hair out of his face, then I ran my hands along his face. I continued moving my hands downward until I reached his chest. I ran my hands all over his chest through his shirt. "So handsome," I whispered as I peppered a bunch of gentle, loving kisses to his face. He was blushing, but he still didn't look happy.

He shook his head. "N-no, I'm not handsome, Sky. I'm disgusting. You don't have to lie to me."

"What can I do to make you believe you're perfect to me? Just because I'm not quite ready to date yet doesn't mean I don't find you attractive. If I didn't find you attractive, I'd be pretty blind. Everyone finds you attractive. I saw the way the other girls used to look at you in class. They were all hot for you. I was just lucky enough to get you hot for me."

He scoffed. "Teenage girls aren't mature, so they're disgustingly hot for everyone who might fuck them. That doesn't count."

"Oh," I said, turning away so I didn't have to meet eyes with him. "So does my attraction not mean anything to you? I'm a teenage girl. Am I immature? Am I just 'disgustingly hot for everyone who might fuck me'?" I spat. I might have been overreacting, but I was hurt he'd generalize teenage girls like that. Not all of us are immature. I hate when people generalize us like that.

"You know that's not what I meant," he sighed, looking into my eyes as he swept my hair off of my forehead.

"It's a good thing we're broken up. I wouldn't want to be too immature for you," I scoffed sarcastically as I started to climb off his lap. He pulled me back down slowly.

"Sky, don't be mad at me again, please. I didn't really mean that. I don't think teenage girls are immature. Plus, you're very mature for your age. I'm sorry."

I kissed his slightly stubble-covered cheek. "It's okay."

"Good. You can't be mad at me. I already told Chantal I'd be bringing a date," he joked. I giggled slightly, and now we sat in comfortable silence for a while.

"So, are you hungry?" I asked, breaking the silence.

He shook his head, still being stubborn about this whole thing. "N-no."

"Gerard, what do I have to do to make you stop this?"

"I'm just gonna lose a little weight, then I'll be okay again."

"You're destroying yourself, Gerard. You're drinking too much, and you're not eating. That shit's not healthy."

"It's not important, Sky. I don't matter."

"You matter so much to me," I whispered as I kissed his neck again. I began to run my fingers through his hair as I kissed my way back up to his lips. Sure, I was laying it on thick, but I wanted him to believe he was attractive to me. I kissed his lips passionately, and he gently licked mine, practically begging for entrance. I allowed him entrance as I tugged his hair slightly.

He suddenly pulled away, and his face was beet red. I didn't understand why until I felt something poking me. "F-fuck, Sky. I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me, I-I can't control it," he pleaded. I climbed off his lap and he shifted awkwardly to try and hide how hard he was, as if it wasn't obvious. That thing wasn't exactly easy to hide.

"I-I'm really sorry. It's just been so long since you've been romantic with me, and it... It felt really, like... good. I haven't even like, gotten myself off lately, because I've been too depressed. I'm not trying to objectify you or anything. I just miss you, I guess. I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to get hard. Please don't hate me! I-I'm trying so hard not to fuck it up for anything. Oh God, you probably think I'm such a creep," he rambled as he panicked.

"Gerard, relax. It's fine. You couldn't help it," I reassured him. "I mean... I guess I caused that. I could h-help if you want," I murmured awkwardly.

He shook his head. "No, Sky. I'm not gonna take advantage of you like that. I respect you so much. I'm not going to do anything until you're ready to be in a relationship with me, if you're ever ready for that. It's not right. I have so much respect for you. You'll never be just a quick fuck to me. I want you to remember that."

"But I made you hard. I should take care of that."

"This isn't a big deal," he said, gesturing to his bulge. "I respect you too much to make it a big deal."

It was a big deal. Very big, if you know what I mean.

Goddamn me and my perverted thoughts. He's being sweet right now, and I'm just thinking about his dick. I finally snapped out of it, then I grabbed his hand and intertwined our fingers.

"That's really sweet, Gerard. I appreciate how respectful you're being," I said, then I kissed his cheek. He blushed and smiled slightly.

"It's no problem. I just want you to feel safe and respected here. You're worth the wait, and your happiness is very important to me," he whispered genuinely. It was great to have someone be so genuine to me.

"You're so sweet," I marveled.

"That's all fine and good, but I really need to go upstairs and like... Y'know," he trailed off, using his eyes to gesture to his bulge once more.

I giggled and kissed his cheek again. "Have fun, cutie," I said, using the term of endearment he always used on me when he was trying to tease me.

He practically sprinted up the stairs, so I chuckled once more.

I decided to start making breakfast while he was busy, so I could at least make sure he ate some when he came back downstairs. I wanted him to be healthy again.