Teach Me How to Love Again (Sequel to Dirty Little Secret)

Chapter 19: I'll Kiss Your Lips Again (With Commentary)

*~(The title of this chapter is from You Know What They Do to Guys Like us in Prison by My Chemical Romance.)~*

*~Sky's P.O.V.~*

heyyy besties this is a quick warning that Gerard uses some manipulation tactics that hit a little too close to home for me to enjoy reading in this chapter and I imagine it could potentially be triggering to others who have been through the same. Please be safe!

TW: manipulation and mentions of suicide 

-2022 M

I was almost trembling from the nerves as I entered Mikey and Kristin's apartment. Kristin walked off down the hallway, and she came back a few minutes later with Gerard. NOW YOU RUN!

I was even more nervous now. Gerard flashed me a sad smile. He looked like a wreck. His black hair was a mess. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen as if he'd been crying for days. It also appeared as if he hadn't showered in a while. Girl I just know he stinks

"H-hi," he said nervously.

"H-hey," I murmured.

"So, um... We were thinking that you and I could go to our... I mean, my house so we can talk in private," Gerard suggested. I noticed how he still called it our house at first, which broke my heart. I gulped. Being alone in that house with Gerard isn't exactly my ideal plan, but I agreed to it. NO GIRL THAT'S SKETCHY AS SHIT

We both went out to Gerard's car. I was nervous the entire time. He turned the radio up to cut through the awkward silence. Last Night on Earth came on, and I turned it off right away. 

"Fucking hate that song," I scoffed. He sighed sadly. LMAOOOOO POWER MOVE we love to see it

We didn't take that long to get to his house. This place made me sad, because it used to be our house. He unlocked the door and we sat on the couch together. This place was a mess. Empty bottles of booze and pills laid around everywhere. damn bitch you live like this?

"So... Um... I guess we should talk," he said. He messed with his own hands.

"Not much to talk about," I sighed. THEN WHY'D YOU GET IN THE CAR HUH

"Oh."

We sat in awkward silence again. I sighed loudly before he broke the silence.

"I'm really sorry," he said.

"Yeah, I heard," I said coldly. GOOD!

"What's it going to take to make you forgive me?"

"I... I don't know if I can forgive you, Gerard. It's gonna take a long time."

We sat in silence again. This was so awkward. I silently wished I wouldn't have agreed to this.

"I-I understand. I just hope you know how sorry I am. I know I fucked up. I fucked up so much and it tears me apart. I never wanted to hurt you. I was just mad. That's no excuse, but I just want you to know how bad I feel." YOU WERE JUST MAD???????? MAD???? DIE

"You did. You did fuck up. You fucked up royally. I... I'm just not sure I'll ever be able to trust you again. I loved you so much, and you hurt me more than you can imagine. I can't trust a man who would cheat while I'm in the fucking hospital. I remember being so excited when I finally remembered you. Little did I know, the reason you pushed me away was because you were fucking some other girl. The only reason it hurts so bad is because I was gullible. I believed you really loved me. I believed you had really changed after you moved to California. I believed a relationship between a seventeen year old and a twenty-five year old would really work in the long run. I believed you could be faithful even after you cheated on Eliza with me. I was gullible. I was naive. I'm not gullible or naive anymore, Gerard. I'm not your toy anymore." YES GO OFF BESTIE ILY