Torn in love (Union J)

Thoughts Before Bed

George

I seriously think that I have done something bad to hate Tessa hate me, other than breaking up with her, obviously. Every time I see her, she either screams or throws something at my face.

“It can’t be true!” Tessa’s voice wails out from her room. I creep closer and see that the door is a little bit open. If I’m quiet, I can listen in and see if this is why she’s ignoring me.

“Well it is,” Liv replies firmly, “And you need to understand that.”

“But it can’t be true!” Tessa wails again. I try to peep through the crack in the door, but a dressing gown is in the way and I can’t see anything.

“Well it is!” Liv tells her a little louder, “And you need to-”

“I don’t want to do anything!” Tessa yells at her, “Because I don’t believe it!”

“Well you should!” Liv yells back, “And you need to-”

I run in before they can fight anymore. “Calm  down ladies,” I tell them, a smile on my face, “Don’t go fighting each other anymore.”

“GET OUT!” Tessa screams at me, her face turning scared, “GET OUT! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!”

So I run out, never more worried about her in my life. But I know that if I stay, she’s going to get even more angry with me and maybe even kill me.

I shake my head, trying to get rid of the memory. I don’t want to remember Tessa telling me that she doesn’t want to see me again. I don’t want to remember her screaming at me just because I was trying to help. And I don’t want to remember her worrying about something that she doesn’t believe. Because if I do remember it, I’m just going to want to understand, and then she’ll get upset and I’ll have to do everything to prove to her that I won’t tell anyone anything that she tells me. And it’s not that I’m not prepared to do that. I am, I just don’t know how I can and will if she’s not listening to me and will go hurting me if I even talk to her.

I walk back into the hotel with JJ, Katy, Jaymi, Olly, Josh, Maryanne and Tash surrounding me. Tash laughs loudly at something that Maryanne has said to Josh, but other than that, we don’t really mix with them. It was a sort of date when we all went bowling together, and by sort-of, I mean that Tash and I were the only ones without a couple who were going. JJ was with Katy, Jaymi with Olly and Josh with Maryanne, which left Tash and me. It was good fun though, if you excluded the fact that most of the couples around us were snogging if you even looked away from them for one second. Tash is really nice and funny, but really, going out with my friends just made me miss Tessa a lot more than I already did.

“I’m going to go and check on Tessa,” I tell Tash quietly, glancing at her for a few seconds. She nods and shoots me a sympathetic look. During our time at the bowling lane, I told her all about the things that had been going on with me and Tessa. It was nice to have someone to listen to me who could also give some good advice. I smile back at her and make my way to Tessa’s room.

Quietly, I knock on the door. When there’s no answer, I push open the door and see Tessa standing in front of her mirror wearing nothing but her underwear, examining herself.

“Tessa, there’s nothing wrong with-”

She turns to face me a horrified look on her face.

“GET OUT!” She screams, chucking shoes at me, “GET OUT NOW!” When I don’t move, she throws more shoes at me until I finally move and shut the door behind me.