Loving Bestfriend

Chapter 18

"So, let's go?" Yaya ni Tito Josef sa aming lahat. Medyo humiwalay ako kay Daddy at tumayo ng maayos upang umalis na.

"Dad, I'll just bring Jean back to her parents." Rinig kong paalam ni Yohan. Hindi ko na iyon pinagtuunan ng pansin.

"Daddy, let's go out na." May halong pagmamakaawang bulong ko kay Daddy. He squeezed my arm and told mom that we should start walking out already.

Nang nasa parking lot ay nakita ko si Mena na paalis na din with her family so I waved her bye. I saw some other classmates too with their families leaving while waiting for Yohan at the parking lot. Napagkasunduan kasi nila to leave at the same time and convoy nalang so sabay din kaming makakarating doon.

Buong gabi ay matamlay ako. Pinipilit ko naman to look happy and ecstatic pero I really can't do it. Sige nga, how can you act happy when you are living your nightmare?!

"Are you okay, Venny? You've been really quiet the whole meal dati naman ay maingay ka." Tita Betty noticed. I forced a small smile.

"I'm just tired po Tita." Dahilan ko. She looked convinced when she nodded and then they discussed that the reason I am tired would have been because we've been up early this morning for the baccalaureate mass. And it lead to a different topic na hindi ko na pinakinggan pa.

Sa totoo lang, pagod naman talaga ako. I am sleepy too pero kaya ko naman sanang maging masigla hanggang mamaya only if I am okay. But I'm not. Tignan ko palang si Yohan ay gusto ko nalang umuwi at matulog.

He's just in front of me, in arm's reach, but he seems so far away. Ni minsan hindi niya ako pinagtuunan ng pansin the entire meal. He's busy tapping away on his phone while smiling like a complete idiot. We barely talked too. Dati kapag ganitong may joint family dinner ay may pinag-uusapan din kami separately from the oldies.

Ang tagal bago ko tuluyang matanggap na marami nang nagbago sa amin. Hanggang ngayon kasi nasasaktan pa din ako at naninibago sa lahat ng nangyayari sa amin as if it's the first time something changed.

I always thought these changes were brought about by my confession but I figured it wasn't...it was our feelings.

May mahal na siya and of course, it will become his priority. Ako naman, mahal ko siya so again, of course, masasaktan akong may ibang una para sa kanya.

Our feelings define the changes in our life. Lahat ng pagbabago nakabase sa ating emosyon dahil ito naman talaga ang madalas magbago. People change because feelings grow or fade.

That's my life realization on this life-changing moment.

Kaya nang vacation ay ginawa ko ang madalas na ginagawa ng mga gustong makalimot. Good thing, destiny is in favor of me this time. Mom announced that we are going to Vigan for one week to visit her parents. Excited ako hindi lang dahil sa I'll be seeing my Lolo and Lola kundi dahil na din makakalayo ako dito pansamantala.

I believe in the saying, 'out of sight, out of mind'. I need to believe kasi I am desperate. Yung pakiramdam ko ngayon ay para akong may sakit na walang lunas and the only thing I can do is to pray for a miracle.

Who are we, just a speck of dust within the galaxy
Woe is me, when our careful turns into reality
Don't you dare let all these memories bring you sorrow
Yesterday, I saw a lion kissed a deer
Turn the page maybe we'll find a brand new ending
Yeah, we're dancing in our tears

And God tell us the reason
Youth is wasted on the young
It's hunting season
And the lambs are on the run
Searching for meaning
Are we all lost stars?
Trying to light up the dark