L (Lyndon)

Chapter thirtynine

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Ch 39 

Lucas walked though the bed room door to find Lyn lied on their bed. He had left her for an hour or so after she said she was just tired and wanted some rest, but after such a wonderful day for her to be given pictures of people she didn't know he knew she just wanted to be alone. She had come on so well from the start of their journey and now had started to make her own memories forcing old ones upon her in his opinion wasn't the best of ideas without her permission.  

"Lyn, why don't you talk about them? Your family. I've seen the pictures Alan gave you back, wont you please look at them?" Lucas tried to hand Lyn the photos, he knew Alan had thought it for the best. 

If she remembered Lucas so quickly after waking up maybe now she would remember her family. Although she knew who they must be she had no memory of the three the people starring up at her, they could be anyone of the lucky few out of this world who made it to Australia.  

Lyn had done nothing, but thank Alan for giving her back the items she had been picked up with, Lyn understood he did it for no other reason then to try and help sort things out in her head, maybe to bring back anything that wasn't as lost as she thought, but where as she once remembered the few little things that she had take from the house she would have once called home it all now meant nothing. It all was memories of a life now lost, a life Lyn was nothing more then a ghost of. 

Lucas could tell she was hiding her true feelings about the pictures at the time so not to upset Alan or anyone else, but she didn't put them back in the box they came in, she just had simply left them on the table to be thrown away with all the other rubbish.  

"There not my family Lucas, you are, you both are" Lyn put her hand over her swollen stomach "I don't remember them, what do you want me to do, cry, tell you we couldn't ever even really get married because I'm meant to be married to someone else, even though I can never go back" for the first time Lyn actually sounded upset about not knowing them, not the cold hearted response he usually received from her "that's not my life I'm not that woman, she's dead and I'm here, I'm Lyn I-" 

"Stop, Its okay" he held her close. "Lets just go to sleep" Lucas couldn't think what to say, how could he make this better, if shown a picture of his family he was sure for the first time in months he would truly miss them, even be homesick. 

Until now he had given his old life little thought, there was so much to do, but he also knew he had been avoiding the thought that he had truly chosen to never go home and never see them again, or at lest until it was definitely safe to do so. 

Lyn on the other hand didn't care that she could, or might never go back to the life she once had, or the people that were once family and would still see themselves as that, whether she could anymore or not. Lyn would walk away from everything and never look back, and she had been doing so since the moment her old memory was taken.

Lucas had studied the five pictures for some time as he sat alone in the sitting room wile Tom and Alan cleaned up their Christmas dinner. Tom had insisted Ash get on with resting his foot. 

The man Lyn had married was nothing like what he thought, blond and much shorter then himself or even that of any of the four men she now spent her days with, but any great detail of his features was lost as he wasn't looking at the camera, but instead at the small boy in his arms. Lucas couldn't help but compare himself to the other man, even without seeing him face on Lucas knew they would have looked nothing alike, he would probably have blue eyes to go with the blonde hair he was nothing like what he thought Lyn would have gone for, even Mat had been dark. But did he really know who Lyndon would have gone for. Lyn was different and he really was the only thing between them both that was truly the same. 

The other four photographs were solely of her boys at different ages, though it was clear without knowing the older was Mat's son, that Mat was definitely the boys father, did he forget him too or had Lyn been right that Mat had remembered his son. The young boy did look exactly like Mat, none of Lyn shone through, but the little one although blond like his father was her spitting image. Either way they were both beautiful and his own babies brothers, Lyn had to see them, as at least that if for no other reason then for their child. but as he lied with Lyn curled in his arms he knew like all things that had once been, it was going to take Lyn time to be able to cope with and talk about them. 

"Lyn?" he whispered half hoping she would be asleep so at least he could say he tried. 

"yes" She sounded slightly more pissed then she had beforehand, but then Lucas guessed she knew what was coming. 

"so your still awake?" 

"well seeing as I answered you, oh and you left the light on , what?" it was a slight snap, but he knew that she wasn't mad at him, well not completely anyway. 

Lucas sat throwing his legs over the edge of the bed which squeaked complaining laudly that its rusty spring were to old for sudden movements. Lucas reached down and picked up the shoe box Lyn had left on the floor, opened it, pulled the five picture from his jeans pocked and dropped the pictures back into the box they came from replaced the lid and pushed she box under the bed. Lucas then turned to face Lyn "sit up, ya?" 

Lyn did as he asked without a word "You don't remember them and you want to start over" 

"You know I do" 

"Then marry me" Lucas then slammed his eyes shut so all light was lost to him as he dove inside his pocket and grabbed hold of the ring Tom had given him then opened his hand so the the ring was directly in front of Lyn. For what seemed like hours of darkness listing to her gentle breathing and the thud of his own heart getting steady quicker the longer she took to answer. It wasn't her voice that told him she had excepted, first it was that he felt her gently lift the ring from his trembling palm and then slowly kiss him. Then she finally spoke. 

"Open your eyes, you can't put it on me with them closed" 

Lucas opened his eyes to Lyn's finally once more perfectly contented face with a smile he hadn't seen since before Alan's gift of her past. Then she smiled wile she asked "Where did you get it?" 

"Tom, it was his mothers, but seeing as we don't think Alan would look to good wearing it he thought I could find a far better use fore it, so that's a yes?" 

"Of course its a yes" and she threw her arms around him causing them both to fall to the floor. 

Lucas could never remember being happier. 

"Here I thought this would look batter on you" Lyn quickly reached inside her jeans pocket and pulled free thick gold chain from which hung a diamond shaped pendent. The diamond was at least two centimeters with the top and bottom point overlaid by the opposite sides , the center was hollow from which hung from the top inner point on a short gold thin gold chain the same rose as tattooed to Lyn's wrist, it swung gently perfectly in the center of the diamond. 

"Why?" 

"Because, at least keep it for now, I have a feeling you may need it more then me, I know the rose means Henry gave it me, But I have a permanent one" she held forward her wrist "and now you can have something that's a part of me, and if you don't want the pendant, the chain will look perfect on you" she placed it over his head and let it drop with a thud against his chest. Lucas studied it for a moment before speaking. 

"Ya, it does look good, I like the chain, and for now I'll keep the pendent too" Lucas kissed her perfect soft lips wile placing his hand over his growing baby.

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