L (Lyndon)

Chapter thirtythree

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Ch 33 

"I thought I lost you" 

Lyn raised her head from inside the engine bay, at the sound of Ash's voice, wiped her hands clean of oil and slammed the bonnet of the car back down with an almighty crash. "I could have done that" Lyn sounded exhausted, but more then needing sleep she looked like she wanted to just have the choice to run and hide if she felt like it.  

"Maybe, but then you know nothing about how Henry had them designed, there not like cars your used to" 

"Suppose that's why you, an Alan have never said they need fuel" 

Lyn nodded wiping clean the grease marks she had left upon the bonnet. She had already packed all their things without either him or Tom noticing she was up. But then, they would only have insisted she stay lied down. She just couldn't anymore and anyway the car need to be repaired before they cold leave. 

"You could have told me how they work" Ash tried not to sound sheepish, but he didn't want Lyn to throw a spanner at him. 

"It was easier this way, we can go as soon as night falls" her voice scared him, though tired, it was empty as if she was only still there, because she had seen how much they needed her and for no other reason. 

"Lyn"  

"Ash, leave it, please" 

Lyn knew he wanted to talk about what she had done the night before, but she just didn't know what to say. She wasn't sorry, or more like only sorry that he caught her. 

Maybe she had taken in what Tom shouted at her far to much, he was only upset about the situation, not really at her. Making it look like it was her fault made him feel better. Lyn knew they'd tell Lucas and if she had to talk with anyone about it, it would be him. She understood how much she had scared them both they had nearly lost her before, but this time must have been worse, for the first time she truly could have been dead.  

She had never wanted to hurt them it was no punishment in anyway to what Tom had said, but what he said had only forced the issues that had troubled her so over the past few days even closer to the surface, they screamed in her head. Even the thought of her unborn baby concerned her little at that point if it was anything like her it was better off. If they were both dead and out of all four lives, especially Lucas. 

Ash looked at her with pleading eyes, he needed answers for his own reassurance more then he truly wanted them. it was after all in his arms she would have died in and he wold have take all responsibility as he did last time for what happened to her. 

Lucas only had to ask him once to look after her wile he was gone for him to take it on board every time he left. Ash would have even believed it his duty to try and explain what had happened to Lucas begging that he be forgiven for not keeping a constant eye on her. 

Lyn walked up and put her arms around him waiting until he did the same "I'll be okay, I promise, and I promise not to try it again, Tom upset me, about things I can't change, things I can't stop hating myself over" Lyn puled away and kissed his stubble covered cheek and thankfully he didn't reply to what she had said "come on, lets get something to eat before we go" 

"Where you gunna leave me?" 

"In a new bunker as close as I feel safe to Henry, you will be safe, I wouldn't leave you some where alone that you wouldn't be safe in" 

"And you'll take both cars with you" 

"We only need one, it will be just four of us" 

"No, I'm not asking, you'll take both cars, I don't want the chance to follow you, if for a second I get the idea you've been gone to long, and you need my help I'll come. I don't want to be the cause of my own death, well not through stupidity anyway, or that of anyone else" 

Lyn simply nodded, she would take both cars it was probably better that way. At least there would be no chance of Ash's sudden arrival.

hope you enjoyed many thanks for reading please comment and vote tym xx