L (Lyndon)

Chapter twentyfour

hi this chapter is not so long hope you enjoy xx

Ch 24 

Lyn slammed the bedroom door, seething, arms folded watching and waiting. Lucas was busy piling the dirty clothes for the wash. He glanced up but continued his work, so Lyn began to impatiently tap her foot, becoming more and more angry by the moment. She had first checked the room she left him in, but after not finding him she guessed he might be back in the room she had spent three days. 

"Lucas" Lyn shouted, loud as she could through clenched teeth. 

"Lyn" Lucas smiled quickly as he looked up at her, then crawled under the bed clearly to retrieve something lost or wedged behind their packs. 

"Get, out, now" she spat out kicking Lucas hard in the knee. 

"AHHH, what?" Lucas wriggled out from under the bed and stood, one hand rubbing his knee the other holing a crusted black sock between finger and thumb as if it were some undiscovered life form. "What'd I do?" 

"What have you done? What have you done? I've been sat in that sitting room for over and hour with both Tom and Alan going over what you said to him yesterday" 

"Who?" 

"Alan, that's who" 

"Why? What? I.....I-" 

"Shut up, how could you speak to him like that" 

"Like what?" 

"Lyn please, its okay" Alan had just slipped through the door, unheard over Lyn's shouts and placed two gentle hands on her shoulders, hoping she wouldn't go on. He looked on the verge of tears. 

Tom stood silently outside the now open door, but at least Ash was lost deep in his work so wasn't interested in the shouting he might have herd. 

"No its not okay, he had no wright to talk to you like that, your my father, well at least as good as, and him, well, he doesn't understand, he doesn't feel the same about it as you do" Lyn's voice had lowered, but her rage still came clearly through her harsh voice. 

"Is this about what happened to you on base?" Lucas's question went unanswered by Lyn, as she sat on the bed arms and now legs crossed, but Alan gave a quick nod when she wasn't looking "I'm sorry, okay. Anyway how on earth would you have any idea about what it was like for me to see you like that, know what they did, how have you any idea what it still feels like for me now. Every time we're together how am I supposed to know if I'm doing something that will upset you, bring everything back. You never talk to me about it, but I suppose you just told him" 

"No I didn't, and you never asked, you never really want to talk about anything that might just involve your feelings, and I......I" Lyn sat in silence refusing to look at any of the men stood over her.  

Lyn knew Alan was already close to crying, his little girl had been hurt beyond belief and he wasn't there to make it better, as in her memory he always had been. And now Lucas would be fighting tears as well, but neither would cry in front of her. "Okay, Lucas I'm sorry, but you should never have spoken to him like that, none of this is his fault, no matter how much sometimes you need someone to blame, without him we wouldn't even be together.  

Lucas you need to understand that Alan isn't just some man who built me and left it at nothing more then that, he was always there when I was scared, in pain, crying and so on, he taught me everything I know now and uploaded everything he thought I might need and not just what Henry said but also what he thought I might need to live as normal a life as possible. He made sure I could find the files that gave us more information on me and even you, he didn't have to, but I'm the only family he had, until now" Lyn quickly looked to Tom and smiled. She then stood up in front of Alan and faced Lucas "He's my father the only one I have, will ever have and have any memory of. And you know what, I don't care that I'm not really his, because I love him, I'm his baby, he loves me like his little girl. No one was there for me for six years but him, after every operation, every time Henry wanted to see me he wouldn't let him be alone with me, what might he have done if Alan hadn't insisted on always being there or having me by his side"  

Lyn tried to compose herself, by taking a deep breath, before speaking again, having to have something she knew would really hurt. 

"You need to understand you just told a father his daughter was rapped and did it in the most horrible way you could and simply left it at that" 

Lucas could no longer hold back and a single tear rolled down his face. Lyn stepped forward and gently wiped it away. "God Lucas, I love you, and I never realised how much it hurt you to clean me up, and every time you touch me images of what they might have done must race through your mind, but please understand that it doesn't just hurt you. Alan wasn't there to make it better or even stop it, like he feels he should have been, and I know now just like you will, he will do his best to always be. But Tom was there as well, he's the one who made it better,after you ran off he stitched me up and held me wile I cried, because we both thought you couldn't, or even wouldn't do it, he truly saw what I looked like inside, has the best idea of what they did and what with, not just you" 

Lyn couldn't believe she had finally sad something about what had happened even if it wasn't the whole story, that would have to wait. Just saying what she had done was hard enough, the pain inside ripped at her. Though it caused great pain and raked up awful memories and not just for her, Lyn was glad she had said, it, it made her feel that if everyone knew just who much each other felt about what had happened, she was that little bit less alone. 

"I'll make us some tea, we'll be in the kitchen you two need some privacy" Alan spoke quickly pushing Tom though the door, he didn't want to show any more of his distress, at least not now, he had had his time with Lyn and now Lucas needed some too. The door clicked shut and they were gone. 

Lyn sat herself back down on the bed. After a few moments of motionless silence Lucas dropped to Lyn's feet, lay his head against her bump and began to cry, it was harder for her then if Alan cried, Lyn had seen him do it many times, but the worst had been just before he switched her emotion chip on to prepare her for her mission. she had never understood until now why it had hurt him so badly to let her go, but now she knew. He was loosing his child and with her now carrying her own baby his pain was all that more apparent. All the same she held Lucas best she could. 

"I'm so sorry" Lucas lifted his head after some time, tears still streaming down his face eyes now red and puffy. Lyn used her sleeve to wipe them away but said nothing "I never meant to hurt you, or him I didn't think, I just couldn't stand him putting his fingers inside you, and I know it was just to re-boot you" 

"That's why you did it?" 

Lucas nodded "I didn't understand how you felt about him, how he feels about you, I really did think there was nothing more to it then the fact that he's the one who made you. I mean I knew you loved each other but I never really saw it like this, I'll say sorry" 

"No time like the present, as he is making you tea, oh and don't forget the clothes"  

Lucas didn't argue, Lyn's words were no longer full of anger but she meant them and he knew it. It was best just to do as she said, get it over and done with, that way it wouldn't create another hurdle for him to jump, in the process of getting closer to her again "Okay I'll be back soon, then if you want can we talk?" Lyn nodded as he kissed her soft cheek then disappeared from the room arms full of clothes.

hope you liked it so far please coment and vote tym xx