walls | h.s

forty-eight.

I was on my way to Harry's house and in some way it felt good to know that I was going to shout at him in a few seconds and kick his balls. He deserves it.

When I left with Cassidy I didn't plan on getting drunk, and sadly it doesn't take a lot to get me drunk.

Cassidy.

Shit. I completely forgot her. I should've probably told her that I'm leaving but I was a little bit too excited to think about it and I really didn't feel like texting her now so I just let it go and focused on wanting to kick Harry's balls and make him feel the pain that I'm feeling.

As I finally stood in front of his door I felt like vomiting. My stomach felt weird and I felt nauseous but I tried to ignore that feeling. My heart was beating rapidly in my chest and when I ringed the bell, my breathing stopped for a few seconds.

I heard shuffling from the inside and when the door swung open I held my breath. Harry was standing in front of me, looking puzzled. He was wearing sweaters and a white shirt, his hair was messy and there were dark rings under his eyes. He looked really tired and exhausted.

He looked as if he just saw a ghost and he studied me as if he didn't believe it was actually me. I felt like crying, seeing Harry just made all of my emotions that were in the back of my head because of the alcohol come up again, but I didn't cry. I came here for another reason and I'm not just gonna be weak.

Cale said that I have to do something that will let all my emotions get out of me and I knew this is what I need. To let it all out and tell him what an asshole he is. And kick him in the balls.

"Rose?" he asked unsure. His voice was hoarse making it deeper than usual.

"We- no I need to talk." I crossed my arms and looked at him.

"There's nothing to talk ab-"

"Shut up," I raised my hand, signalling for him to stop speaking. "There is a lot to talk about, a lot that I need to talk about and I'm not having this. You're going to listen whether you like it or not. I deserve this." I was surprised at my confident tone.

He puffed out some air and you could see it due to the low temperature. His hand was gripping the door frame and he said tiredly, "Go on,"

"First of all, you're an asshole." I smiled sweetly but got no reaction from him which made me quite pissed.

"I hate you for breaking up with me. It's not just the breaking up part alone, it's the fact that you just threw me away like I'm trash. Right after I tell you I love you and do something intimate. I hate you for breaking my heart because no words can explain the pain I am feeling. I hate you for acting like you don't care and not just now, when we broke up, too. Can't you just show some damn emotions for once?" My voice got louder at the end. Even right now he looked like he doesn't care and not only did that make the ache in my heart worse, it also made my angry.

"You know what," I started calmly. "You have no idea what it's like to lose someone you're in love with, you have no clue how much it hurts. But do you know what I hate the most? I hate the fact that I fell in love with you because clearly you don't care-"

That's when Harry said something.

"Don't you fucking dare tell me that I don't care about you." He growled, interrupting me. He closed his eyes for a brief moment and took a deep breath. "I think I've done enough to show you how much I care."

"So you want to tell me that you care?" I laughed. "Very funny. If you care oh so much when why did you break up with me? Why did you have to break my heart and don't tell me you didn't know that it was going to hurt me, I don't want to hear any bullshit."