walls | h.s

fifty-two.

//I'm extremely sorry for not updating in a few weeks, I didn't have time. I hope you understand//

I felt like my heart shattered as I saw Harry on the bed in the hospital and knowing that he was streaked with a bullet because of me made, and that Stan got hit as well, me feel extremely guilty and I just wanted to turn the time back and prevent all of this from happening.

Harry was already sitting, his feet dangling off the bed. His eyes were fixed with mine and a small smile tugged at the corner of my lips as I approached him. "I'm so sorry that this happened, it's my entire fault and I'm so-"

"Shut up," he cut me off. "All that matters is that you're safe and Carter is dead, that son of a bitch." He muttered the last part. It was silent for a few seconds until he continued speaking. "I never would've thought that Carter would do that,"

I sat down next to him, our shoulders touching, and put my hand on his thigh. "Some people are just unpredictable; you couldn't have known he would do that. No one thought he would." I rubbed his thigh comfortingly.

He was looking at me and a loud sigh left his parted lips. "I just feel-" he searched for the right word, "betrayed I guess. It's always been carter, Logan, Stan and me; we went through the same shit and were like brothers. How could he just turn his back to us like that?" His voice didn't hold his usual confidence as he opened up his heart and talked about how he felt. It wasn't something usual, seeing him like this, and it hurt my heart to know how he felt.

It was true, he did betray them. The way they grew up wasn't a nice way, they had so many things to deal with at such a young age but at least they had each other. Like he said, they went through the same things and understood each other like no one else did.

Harry is the kind of person to not give a shit about anything; there are only few tings he genuinely cares about. He doesn't trust easily. But he loved Logan like a brother and the fact that one of the not so many people he cared about betrayed him must be a terrible feeling.

"How's Stan?" he changed the topic.

"He'll make it. Logan is with him," he nodded his head and stood up.

As we were in the room Stan was I couldn't really focus on the conversation they had but I was happy to see Stan awake and smiling again, but whenever he laughed there was this painful expression on his face and it made the guilt I had even worse. I couldn't help but blame myself for all of this.

But what I kept thinking about is how Harry changed subjects so quick. I know that that's just how he is but it's not healthy to just hold everything in and not talk about the way you feel. You should let it all out or else it'll eat you up from the inside. I had to talk with him about this once we were alone.

Stan had to stay in the hospital for a few more day and Harry, Logan and I went home. It felt weird to return back to Harry's house because it felt like I haven't been there for ages and it just reminded me of the things that happened. I knew the reason he broke up with me but there were still so many things we needed to talk about.

It was dark outside when we got to his house and we were being quite because Anne was asleep. Quietly we made our way to his room and once we were in his room and the door was closed Harry took his shirt off along with his pants, leaving him in his boxers only. He threw another shirt of his at me and I caught it. With a faint smile on my lips I took my clothes off, leaving me in just my underwear and bra, and then threw his shirt on.

I loved how it just smelled like Harry and I felt so comfortable with it.

With a loud sigh I let myself fall onto his bed and my back met the soft and very comfortable mattress. "I'm exhausted,"