Madness (Completed)

Care

I suddenly hear a loud noise come from a distance. It instantly makes me bolt upright and lock my eyes with Marks in concern. As if he could read my mind, Mark helped me off the bed and walked us out of the room towards the stairs. I hear low groans from downstairs, the noise of Eaters behind the doors. Neither one of us speak, just in case there is a reason to be stealthy from the absense of noise all around us. Until we hear a voice that catches our attention.
"Hey! It landed on me!" A voice yells from downstairs. Mark and I only exchange one glance and then we bolt down the stairs towards the voice. Once we get down all the stairs I see Jack laying on the floor with wooden boards on top of him. Wade stands next to him trying to take everything off of him. Mark and I approach at a decently fast pace.
"What are you guys doing?" I ask with a small chuckle as I start to help taking the boards off Jack.
"We were trying to make a window through the boards so we could see through the windows." Jack says in a slight mumble that makes me chuckle as all of the items pile off of him.
"It was a good idea, but how did this help you?" Mark questions as he helps me back to my feet.
"We were trying to break the boards with more boards." Wade says with a small laugh.
"How was that supposed to work?" I giggle at him.
"It was my idea." Wade says.
"That explains a lot." Mark chuckles back at him.
"Shut up Mark." Wade says.
"No, you shut up Wade." Mark responds.
"Both of you need to shut up." I say, helping Jack to his feet, even though Mark has grown a grip on my waist in a protective manner.
"Sassy today, are we?" Wade chuckles once Jack is standing once more. However I ignore his comment and just take a moment to look at Jack who stand in front of me. His eyes stare into mine, the way that he used to look at me when we were together. The way that made me melt when he did so, a way that made me happy inside. It was as if I wasn't being held by Mark and that I was still with him, which lead me to think again. That same question that I still don't know the answer to.

Do I still love Jack?
I don't know anymore. Jack and I have been together ever since the apocalypse began. We had protected and cared for one another for so long that it seemed like it would never end. But that all changed. Once Mark and I were trapped together I didn't just want to protect Jack. I didn't trust myself to anymore and all I wanted was to move. I never wanted to stop or stay in one place, after all I had for so long. Everything that I have gone through always leads me back to the question... And I might never be able to answer it honestly.

Jack stands in front of me, with us both staring into each others eyes for a long while. It calms me when I'm near him, and I'm not sure why. It's probably why the first time I slept was with him. It might be because I have always been protected by Jack. If I was ever in trouble he was always there to save me in whatever way he could. I suddenly feel Mark nudge me lightly with his hand, making me come out of my thoughts and into reality. I blink a few times, giving Jack a sweet smile before taking a step back from him as a path away from me. Jack catches on pretty quickly, returning the smile to me and walks past me out of my view. I turn my head slightly to see that Wade had gone and Jack is jumping up the stairs away from us. I turn the rest of my body it face Mark to see his eyes fixed on the stairs still. They soon look back at me in a confused and slightly angry manner.
"What's wrong?" I ask moving my hands so I grip his which are still placed on my hips.
"It's probably me." Mark mumbles, releasing his strong grip slightly.
"Why?" I question in a slight worry, grazing my thumb over his hand lovingly. Mark shakes his head and releases me entirely, starting to walk away towards the stairs. I start after him quickly and grab his shoulder for him to stop.
"What happened?" I question, turning him around with the strength that my arms have developed through the apocalypse.
"Just... Nothing. Let's just go back to the room." Mark says, putting on a smile that looks fake to me.
"No, what's wrong?" I ask, more annoyed anger going into my voice this time.
"Nothing, can't we just drop it?" Mark asks, more anger going into his voice as well.
"No. What's wrong?" I ask again in a more irritated tone. Mark sighs heavily and closes his eyes for a long while.
"You should be with him... Not me. I saw the way you looked at him, like he was some god in front of you. The only reason you even have a chance with me is this." Mark says putting his hand on my stomach where our child is. I shake my head, tears pricking my eyes lightly.
"No. That isn't true Mark, you know that isn't true. I care for you just as much as I do for Jack, or more. The baby is just a bonus between us." I state in a demanding tone that I think caught Marks attention.
"No, it's keeping us together. But it doesn't have to." Mark says, taking a pause, looking me in the eye. I suddenly realize what he is saying and I try to speak, but Marks finger stops me.
"You can be with Jack and just say that he is the father." As he speaks a tear drips down my cheek and I shake my head as I lay on Marks shoulder.
"I'm not fit to be a father, I know Jack always wanted this and you'll be happier with him." Mark says, his voice cracking in a way that men do before they cry.
"Mark... Please don't..." I whimper into his ear as more and more tears slide down my cheeks.
"It will be better for you." Mark cries, now holding me in a tight hug, but I don't mind.
"No... I want our child to know their father and not have their mother abandon them even before they're born." I state sternly through my tears.
"You're not abandoning me if I'm asking you to leave to be happy." Mark whispers softly. I shake my head once more and hold Mark close to me.
"I'm not leaving either way." I say comfortingly. There is a long silence where Mark and I stand in front of the stairs holding onto each other tightly. Finally, we both walk up the stairs grasping onto one another's hands. We walk in silence, I'm not sure what we would say anyways. We get back to our room and lay in the small mattress together. We still hold onto each others hands and I close my eyes softly, relaxing as I lean my head on his strong chest.
"I love you." I whisper, planting a small kiss on Marks cheek.
"I love you too." He whispers back, planting a kiss on my forehead lovingly. It is at that moment that I let myself sleep and relax for one of the first times in a while. I let my eyelids stay closed and slowly, very slowly, I let myself fall asleep.