Madness (Completed)

I... Won't

I finally let myself open my door once more and walk outside it. Even though it is my home, I don't like it anymore. I don't feel safe or secure in here anymore, all I can think about is last night and everything I said. I know that it was the right thing to do, but I feel so horrible because of it. I sigh heavily with all my thoughts screaming inside my head. Some telling me I'm wrong, some telling me I'm right, but in the end it just sounds like a blur of sound.
"Morning." I hear Bobs voice from the living room. My eyes dart to see him sitting on the edge of my couch with Wade still sleeping on it. He holds one of my coffee mugs and takes a sip from it.
"How'd you sleep?" He questions after he takes another sip from the cup. I slowly approach him and end up standing awkwardly next to the couch.
"Terrible." I respond in full honesty, showing my emotions and sleep in my voice.
"It shows." Bob responds without any pity or worry in his voice. "But why was it so bad?" He adds the question. All I do is sigh heavily, as the last thing I want to do right now is talk about that.
"Last night I ended everything between Mark and I. It kept me up thinking and lots of crying, but I have to think about my future sometimes, and do what's best." I explain as I try with all my strength to hold in all the tears and pain I have inside me, and it builds every second.
"Not what I expected, but I don't judge you on it at all. But does this mean you're going to be with Jack?" Bob questions. The one question I don't want to answer right now because in all honesty, I don't know and I can't think about it right now.
"I don't know, I need to talk to someone before I make that choice." I lie, but I think Bob believed me.
"Okay, sorry, not trying to be nosey. Anyways, you can go get some coffee and talk to whoever. See you around Violet." Bob says, tipping his head in a way signalling for me to go. I nod back to him and walk into my kitchen where I smell the lovely fragrance of coffee enter my nose. Even when I was little, I used to sneak into the kitchen and smell all the coffee grains because I just loved it. However, I don't have time to have coffee right now, even if it was a lie, I need to talk to people. That and I don't want to see Mark right now after everything I said last night. I put on a light jacket that hangs by my door and I step outside. I walk down the steps of my walkway and I start walking down the sidewalk towards Jacks new home. I guess no matter what I do I'll always need to go talk to one of those men even if I don't like it.

I finally arrive at Jack's home and pound my fist on the door for him to open it. I hear footsteps on the other side and after about 30 seconds the door opens. Jack leans so he is half in the doorway and the rest behind the door. It is obvious as soon as I see him that he is not wearing a shirt and his hair is slightly wet. I guess I caught him when he was in the shower. I try not to stare and instead move my eyes to look into Jack's.
"Hey, sorry, is this a bad time. I can come back later if you want." I offer as I don't think he is ready for guests right now.
"Oh, uh, yeah that might be-"
"Who is it Sean?" I hear a female voice cut Jack off from within his home. I can't help my jaw from falling at the sound and I laugh silently to myself.
"Violet, it isn't what you think. Can I please just explain before you say anything?" Jack questions me as I try to get away, but Jack grabs for my arm when he speaks.
"Just... It doesn't matter... I was going to end everything between us anyway, this made it easier." I say as a tear rolls down my cheek and I move away passed Jacks grip on my arm and his hand falls off me.
"Violet, please just let me explain!" Jack shouts at me as I walk down the steps of his house and to the sidewalk.
"You don't need to, I get it. I really do love you Jack, but I'm not marrying you no matter how much you want me to." I state in a surprisingly cold tone with tears now flowing down my cheeks.
"Please, just wait there!" Jack shouts once more as his hand inside scrambles to grab something. He then shoves the door out of his way and dashes outside with only a towel around his waist. He gets down on one knee in front of me and opens a small box that contains a beautiful blue and green ring sitting inside.
"Will you marry me? I promise I will never be disloyal or break your heart and I will be the best father I can be." He says almost out of breath when he speaks. I gasp at his request and try to look anywhere but at him with more tears coning from my eyes. I already know what my answer is going to be, but the hard part is making my lips speak them.
"I can't-"
"Can't, or won't?" Jack interrupts me, his voice still out of breath.
"You asked me if I would marry you, and my answer is that I... Won't." I say in a staggered voice, but I try to keep it strong.
"Violet..." Jack says my name in a hushed voice one last time before I turn away on my heal and walk away form the scene.
"That's it then? You're marrying Mark?" Jack shouts at me in an angered tone that he doesn't use often.
"No, I'm not marrying either of you. I have to think for myself and what will be best for me sometimes, and right now, neither of you are best for me." I say with all my tears freezing on my cheeks from the cold weather. It seems that I've stopped crying and I'm back to my bitchy self. A self that I haven't seen since all this started, a self that tells everyone what she thinks and doesn't care about the outcome. That's who showed themselves just now, and I don't feel bad about it. I turn away from Jack once more and start walking down the sidewalk back to my house.