Madness (Completed)

The One I Chose

I sit in my porch with emotions flowing through my mind. I hate what I did just now, but I would hate it even more if I hadn't. I needed to decline him, because I know who I need to be with. The hard part is just going there and telling him. I'm tired, so tired, more than I ever have been in my life and I think most of the reason is because of all my thoughts. Stress sweat has been going down my face and back all day and night since I made my decision. This has been one of the hardest things I've had to do and I'm sire it will never get easier for me. I guess that's what made me get up from my porch and my eyes avoided to look at Jack's home only a block away. I then start walking once more, even though I'm tired, because I need to make someone marry me and that won't get done when I'm sitting here.

I finally arrive at my destination and sit in a chair behind a desk. Most hate this feeling of waiting for someone to get back, but I have always seen it as a time to think. A time to plan what I'm going to say and decide how to put different things in my sentences. Even so, many people might be frightened to sit behind this desk. However, it has never been a case of being scared of people with power. I have always viewed everyone as a person and nothing more, because behind all the power and wealth that they might have, that's what they are. They are a person who has gained everything they have, and that is always how I will view it most likely. The sound of the door creaking open behind me breaks my thoughts and I turn my head lightly to see it. A woman in a white buttoned shirt and a black shirt and is right against her skin opens the door for the man who is about to enter. He walks inside and eyes me in a curious way, I suppose the information that I was here has gotten to him until now. That in itself is very interesting, after all, not much is hidden from the leader of this compound.
"You have a meeting in 30 and team 2 wants to go on a raid at your word." The woman says to him as he sits on the other end of his desk across from me.
"They can go and who am I meeting with?" Shane questions her in a voice full of exhaustion and slight annoyance. I'm sure it won't be that way once I have a talk with him.
"The leaders of teams 3, 4, and 5. Also a few store owners, the meeting is about the safety breaches in the northwest corner." She responds. The way she speaks seems like it could be a from computer or that she is reading from a textbook, how she knows everything going on without any hesitation in her. I'm not sure how people memorize those things, I would get bored if I had that job personally.
"Okay, I'll be there when it's time. Leave us, will you?" Shane says in a more called voice as his eyes trail to focus on me.
"Yes sir." She says as she closes the door and I hear her heals click outside the door as she takes steps away from us.
"So, what do you need?" Shane questions as he rests his elbows on the desk and he rubs his eyebrows.
"I chose who I want to get married to." I say in an almost stammered voice.
"Oh, and who is that going to be?" Shane questions joyfully with a soothing smile on his face. I lead my hands to meet Shane's on the center of the desk.
"Well I chose, but this person hasn't agreed yet." I say in a hushed voice. His eyebrows furrow for a moment before his eyes go wide in realization. He takes his hands off the desk entirely and he sighs.
"I can not marry you Violet, I have responsibilities and meetings and paperwork. I can't be a husband to you or be a good father to your child. I'm sorry, but I can not, I have too much in my life for this." Shane says in a stern tone that he uses a lot, but that doesn't scare me.
"It's because you have all this stuff going on that this is the right thing for you. You can have help and support with all of the things going on in your life, Shane." I explain, just holding onto the hope that he will understand and agree to this. After all, I sacrificed everything on that hope, both of my main options, possibly my friendships with them as well and the risk that i could have no other options in the end.
"I'm flattered that you'd even consider me, but I have an entire compound to run and everything about this could devastate that. Not to mention the past you have with the others, we don't have anything close to what you have with them. I just don't see why you want this so badly, I can't give you anything that you don't already have." Shane says with a tone of life sincerity which only makes this more annoying to me.
"Firstly, didn't you hear me before? That I can help you with all your work and stress that I'm sure happens here. And I don't have any other options anymore, I ended everything between me and the other guys. Shane, you're my only hope right now, I don't want to be forced into a marriage that I don't want and this is the only thing I have anymore. Please... We don't even have to be a perfect family, I didn't want to get married to anyone, so this is all I can do to be happy with any of this." I beg him with tears trying to form in my eyes, but I hold them back with all my force I still have left. Shane sighs heavily and looks up at the ceiling, slowly letting his eyes fall back down to me.
"Okay, I'll do it. But this relationship is going to be just on paper, for now at least. I'll inform everyone and give you the extra key to my mansion by tomorrow. Before you leave, might I ask you a question?" He adds with a curious expression on his face, I guess he must have more questions about this.
"Thank you so much, Shane, and go ahead." I respond.
"Why do you want me as a husband? I mean, you seemed very happy to get all of your friends back. Why not be with one of them, why choose to be with me?" Shane asks curiously.
"I was just happy that they weren't dead, because you're right that we do have a past... but a lot has happened and with them and I guess I know too much about them to be with them. I just know all of their flaws and it has become too much, they're not husband material. I mean, one of them lied and said that we were getting married and then I went it his house today and he had a girl there while he was in just a towel. I think that's enough said about why he was crossed off the list. The other one, he gets so mad and it scares me, it just isn't a good environment for anyone. He also thinks that I don't love him and we have more bad moments than good anymore..." I trail off, my thoughts overcoming me.
"So... I became your option then? Interesting, although, I can't blame you if those were the other choices." Shane chuckles to himself as his com starts to go off.
"Sir, we have 5 Z's on the north wall, waiting instruction. Over." A voice on the other end explains.
"Make sure they're actually Z's and then do normal procedure." Shane replies to the person on the other end.
"Copy that." He responds politely before the line how's fuzzy and blank with no other voices.
"Anyways, I have to take care of some meetings. If you want to wait here then you're free to, but I'm not sure how long it will be." Shane explains as he stands form his chair and looks down at me from the other side of the desk.
"Can I just go with you? I think it will make everyone accept that we're getting married much more." I explain as I stand from my seat with him. After all, I don't like to be looked down on, no matter who it is.
"Oh, yeah, let's go then." Shane says as he walks around his desk and meets me at my seat. He puts his arm out for me and I grab it, pulling myself closer to him to make this more believable.
"Shall we go then, Mrs. Lancaster?" Shane chuckles with his eyes looking down at me in a comforting way.
"Yes, yes we shall Mr. Lancaster." I reply with a smirk on my face.