Madness (Completed)

I Just Can't

I walk down the street to the house number on the key Shane gave me. It seems to be relatively close to my old house, but it is a little closer. Once I arrive, I unlock the door and walk inside, examining everything with my eyes. The inside of the house is painted a light gray so it almost looks white with a tint. The floors are carpet, they are a calming light brown. As I walk deeper in the house I begin to see all my belongings laid all around the house and many boxes with them. I see my couch sitting in a living room like room. I walk towards it and then I realize that someone lays on it. I approach it slowly and peer over the edge to see Jack laying there looking around the room. He looks up at me and smiles, his body appears to have been treated.
"The guys are back, they're in the hospital." I explain as I walk around the couch and sit on the edge near Jack's feet. He nods his head and sits up, giving me more room until he moves so he sits close to me.
"I'm glad that you're okay and I'm sorry that I didn't understand what was happening at the time. I was still confused from when I was at Ian's." Jack explains with a sigh, his eyes glancing down at my hand that sits between us on the couch.
"You don't have to apologize for that, it wasn't your fault. I'm glad that you're better now though, at least you look and sound better." I say with a smile as I look over Jack who looks to have his bruises faded since I last saw him.
"Yeah, not long after you left some guys came and took me to the hospital and they fixed me pretty good. They gave me some medicine that I've taken and I'm sure they will give to the other guys. So, don't worry, they'll be fine." Jack says with his bright smile going on his face.
"Thanks, but we won't know what all they have to do until they examine them all. So far, I'm not too worried about the physical injuries, just the mental ones that might come up." I confess with a heavy sigh escaping my mouth.
"You do know that I am a trained psychiatrist, right? If they do have any mental illness, I'm sure I can identify and cure it." Jack explains. I nod my head in response and take in a deep breath.
"Thanks Jack." I say gratefully.
"It isn't a problem... So, what are you gonna do now that you're back?" Jack changes the subject, his eyes meeting mine.
"I'm planning on going back to the hospital and I'll probably stay the night there. I just want to be there when Mark wakes up and I want to help the doctors to figure out who all of them are. You're welcome to come with me, I'm sure they'll be glad to see you." I offer with a smile.
"Yeah, I'll go." Jack agrees with a nod of his head.
"I gotta pack some things first, so, do you know where all the stuff that was in my room is now?" I question with a small laugh as my eyes examine the small details of my new house.
"Yeah, come here I can show you." Jack says as he steadily gets off the couch. I get up with him and begin to follow him down a hallway.
"Sorry if you don't like it, they told me last minute to pick a house and so I picked one that I thought we could both live in... However, when I made the choice, I was only thinking that you and I would live here, with that being said, there are two bedrooms in the house and I put both of our stuff in one that we can share." Jack explains as we walk and he finally gets to a door and opens it to let me inside. I stop in my tracks before I enter the room while Jack keeps the door open for me.
"Jack... I... I can't do this, not right now at least." I say in a weak and pained voice that expresses my feelings about the situation well.
"But we can still live here and be happy, we can have the other room for the baby and we can have a full family." Jack says, trying to convince me and for a second, it does. For one moment I actually let myself agree that i could live here and Jack and I could have a family like I've always wanted. However, that moment passes quickly.
"Jack, you know that I would love this, but I can't." I state in a voice of distress and sadness.
"Why not? We have nothing stopping us and if you really do want this then you should be able to have it. We both deserve to have a good life and I don't see how you don't realize that." Jack says, his bright smile completely gone now and his voice sounds hurt and slightly annoyed.
"I know, we do... but I can't... not right now anyway." I say, trailing off and avoiding his eyes by looking at the carpet below my feet.
"But why not?" Jack questions in a stern tone.
"I just can't. I'm sorry Jack, I really am, but I can't do this right now." I say as I spin around on my heel and quickly walk out of the house.

As I walk, I cross my arms and basically stomp towards the hospital. I hear people whispering as I pass them and I feel eyes on me at all times. I hate the feeling. I begin to walk quicker, but I start getting tired so I have to slow my pace. I finally arrive at the hospital and walk around to the back entrance. I see a security guard standing against the door and I walk right up to him without any fear.
"Let me in." I say sternly, stopping in my tracks in front of the man.
"Miss Violet, I have specific orders not to let you inside. I am very sorry, please come back later." He says in a sentimental tone. I roll my eyes as I am just getting more annoyed by the second.
"And who are these orders from? You do know that I'm friends with Shane, right?" I question with anger rising inside me and it shows in my voice.
"He was the one who actually gave me the orders. He is inside now, I might be able to get him for you if you wish to speak to him." the guard offers. I nod my head for him to go and he does. He walks inside, closing and locking the door behind him. The door opens maybe 3 minutes later and Shane as well as the security guard walk out of the door. Shane nods to the guard and walks towards me.
"Let's have a walk now, shall we?" Shane says as he puts his hand on my back and starts moving me along with him.
"Why can't I go in there?" I question angrily in a hushed voice. Shane and I continue to walk at a more normal pace now and he sighs heavily finally letting go of my back.
"There have been some updates that might trouble you and I don't want you to find out in the wrong way. I wanted to be the one to explain it to you, so are you ready?" Shane questions with pure seriousness in his voice and expression.
"Yeah, tell me." I say, rushing my words out my mouth. Shane sighs heavily and stops in his tracks, me copying the action. He turns to face me and I can tell that something is upsetting him.
"I got news that one of the men you came here with is having internal bleeding. He will need surgery as soon as possible and I just ordered them to do it before it's too late... I don't know his name, but I have a picture here if you can please identify him for us." Shane says as he pulls out a folder with a few documents inside.
"Yeah, definitely." I agree with drops of sweat pouring down my forehead.
"Here's the picture." He says as he pulls out a document and hands it to me. It doesn't take any time for me to recognize him and tears begin to ball in my eyes at the thought of what happened yo him. I take in a deep breath and hand the document back to Shane.
"His name... His name is Emmet." I say through a small stammered and shaky voice when I say his name.