Alice Sugg (Zoella/Danisnotonfire) Book 3: TTS Trilogy *COMPLETED* #wattys2016

Chapter Thirty One: Losing Hope

Chapter Thirty One: Losing Hope

~2 Months Later~

DAN

Alice was still in the god damn coma. Some days she showed signs of recovering and waking up, and on other days her health declined. It was strange watching her day in and day out knowing that my child was growing inside her stomach even though its mother was dead to the world. I was amazed by the way the doctors were able to keep the baby healthy and developing, I just wanted Alice to wake up so we could continue the experience together.

We came up with a rota system so Alice was never alone in the hospital just in case she woke up suddenly. Carrie took Monday, Phil took Tuesday, Joe claimed Wednesday, Caspar watched over her on Thursday and I did my time Friday through to Sunday. We all tried different methods to keep ourselves occupied while trying to communicate constantly with Alice like the doctors told us to. If Alice could see the chain of support she had she'd be overwhelmed. Zoe and Alfie came up from Brighton when they could and would swap days with us to give the rest of us a break. Zoe apologised for slapping me but I told her point blank that I deserved it for my actions at the book launch.

Alice's book was always going to do well in the charts, and it had pre-orders which rivalled Zoe's. When it was released it went straight to number one and became a bestseller which was Alice's dream when she started writing. As much as I hated that one chapter the rest of the book was pretty good and accurate, yes I'd finally sat down and read it cover to cover and I was proud of my girlfriend. Fans sent their constant praise of her book all over Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and prayed for a speedy recovery. As a YouTube family we decided it was best to keep the pregnancy under wraps until Alice woke up and was fully recovered.

My parents scolded me when they found out what I'd done to Alice, but they soon cheered up when they heard the word baby. My dad told me I had to man up and take responsibility because a child deserved to be raised by two loving parents while mum asked if I'd considered moving into a place more suitable for Alice and the baby. I had considered finding a place big enough for Alice, the baby and I but needed to talk it over with Phil, Carrie, Zoe and Joe to see if it was a good idea.

Much to my surprise they all agreed that it was a good idea and showed that I was taking the situation seriously and maturing. I had a few flats bookmarked within the London area and even a couple in Brighton to appease Zoe. Though I still had gigs in London with Phil which meant London was looking like the place I'd raise my first child. Yes I wanted more children with Alice in the future, but for now one would do.

The machines constantly beeped and I swore the sounds haunted my dreams as a slept. It was like I couldn't escape them, they were a constant reminder that I couldn't have the dream future I planned if Alice wasn't awake by my side. Some days I wanted to yell at the machines to stop mocking me, but I fought against it for fear the doctors would think I'd lost my sanity.

A knock at the door drew my attention away from my laptop screen which had trusty Tumblr up. The door opened and the last person I expected to see walked in, the editor who tried to explain his actions at the book launch who I ignored and still blamed Alice. What the hell was he doing here? My face must have said it all because he bowed his head before clearing his throat.

"I'm really sorry for everything that's happened Dan. I just wanted to know if you ever saw the revised chapter Alice spent hours rewriting to make you look good in the book? She loves you and would have done anything to clean your character up in the book, she fought for the change and we went against her wishes hoping to boost more book sales."

I shook my head; I knew a revised chapter existed because Phil, Carrie and a bunch of other youtubers had seen it just in case something like this happened. Alice expected that I wouldn't read it so made sure our friends knew about it so that if anything happened she'd have proof that she tried to change the book. Of course my pride was too big to accept the fact that I overreacted before giving anyone a chance to explain.

"I have a copy here for you. I really hope she wakes up and has a full recovery for everyone's sake. A lot of people miss her smile and laugh Dan. Again all I can say is sorry, I never thought something this drastic would happen if we kept the original chapter in."

He rooted around in his bag before producing some sheets of paper stapled together. I took them with a weak smile and he hastily left the room. I did feel bad for him because he was just doing his job and a part of him probably blamed himself for what happened to Alice. If anything the guilt should be with the publishing house and me. Well it looked like I had some more reading to do.

It didn't take me too long to read the new chapter; I was shocked at how different it was to the original. Alice really did go above and beyond to make sure I was happy with it, neither of us wanted another hitch in our relationship and I was dumb enough to assume she kept the original chapter in for selfish publicity reasons. I didn't even recognise the revised chapter or character, it was tamer and clean. I dared a glance at Alice's sleeping form and felt a tear fall onto the sheets of paper.

"I'm so sorry for not believing you Alice. I'm an idiot who doesn't deserve someone as good and loving as you. I need you to wake up so I can try my hardest to make it up to you. This relationship is worth saving and I'll show you just how committed I am to you and our unborn child. I love you so much."

I stood up and squeezed her hand only to get no response but more beeps from the machine. Was I losing hope she would ever wake up? I didn't want to say it out loud but I was thinking about it in the back of my mind. All of us could only stay positive so long before we let the harsh light of day sink in. I needed a sign or a silver lining, I wasn't a religious person but I considered putting all my effort into praying to God to bring her back to me.

Suddenly the machine beeped louder drawing my attention, after a couple of months I learnt the beeping pattern so when something didn't sound right I felt my hopes lifting. I looked down at Alice and felt the smallest amount of pressure on my hand which was holding hers. I hit the button next to the bed to alert the nurse station.

"What happened Dan?"

"She squeezed my hand and the machine isn't making its usual sounds."

A nurse who I learnt was called Peggy walked over to the machines and starting pressing buttons before writing stuff down on the clipboard at the end of Alice's bed. Another nurse came in who I didn't know by name and ushered me away from Alice before taking my place. I slumped back down in the chair.

"Does this mean she's waking up?"

Peggy smiled softly at me as she continued to write down notes.

"Maybe, but I don't want you to get your hopes you Dan. Some coma patients have muscle spasms which look like their waking up when really it's just their body."

Was this the sign I asked for? If so maybe God was listening.