Chap.o48
"I think I like Ysrael, Jen." I confessed.
I never heard any words from Jen after. Maybe she was surprised. After three years kasi, ngayon ko lang nasabihan si Jen na may gusto akong guy. I had boyfriends before but I never told Jen that I like anyone of them. Liking a guy is a big deal for me back then. If I like the guy kasi, it means that there is a chance that I might fall for him in the future. And I hate falling in love again. The past kept playing in my mind.
"That's a big news." I heard her say after a long silence. Ngayon lang siguro natauhan.
"Yeah. I never expected it frankly speaking."
"Wait Cyrene. Someone's coming. I'm hanging up, okay? No worries, girl. Your secret is safe with me. I'll call you later." With that, she hung up.
Para naman akong nabunutan ng tinik pagkatapos. Sharing the thing that bothers me brings help really. It helps lessen my burden. Para akong nabunutan ng tinik.
"You like me, huh?"
Pagkarinig ko sa kanya, parang bumalik lahat ng tinik na akala koy nawala na kanina. Nakakahiya! Bakit ito pa mismo ang nakarinig sa sinabi ko? Bakit si Ysarel pa???
"So after all, magugustuhan mo din pala ako." Wika pa nito.
Hindi ko ito maharap. Ni wala pa ngang salitang lumalabas sa bibig ko. Kung ganito lamang ang mangyayari, mas nanaisin ko pang wag na akong pansinin ng isang ito. Nakakahiya, I swear!
"Nasan na ang tapang mo, honey?"
Palakas ng palakas ang boses nito at alam ko ang rason kung bakit. Papalapit ito sa akin. Ramdam ko ito kahit na nakayuko lang ako.
At nanatili pa din akong nakayuko - hinihintay ang susunod na mangyayari. Alam kong nasa tapat ko na ito dahil nakikita ko na ang mga paa nito. I wanted to run but I got stuck and idle. I don't know what to do.
Both of us remained silent after. No one dared to speak and break the silence. Hanggang sa ako na unang nagsalita.
"Look, I'm not quite sure if I like you. If you heard my statement a while back, I know that you clearly heard the phrase 'I think'. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say."
I was facing him when I said my explanation. Gusto ko kasing ipahiwatig dito na nagsasabi ako ng totoo kahit na hindi. Oo, gusto ko sya pero magsisinungaling ako. Pride na lang ang natitira sa akin eh. I told him before that I wouldn't fall. It would be him and not me. Pero baliktad ang nangyari eh. I loss.
Hindi pa naman ako nahuhulog dito ng tuluyan pero dun na din ako papunta. Gusto ko na kasi ang lalakeng ito.
"I don't believe you. Alam kong gusto mo na ako. You're just coward to admit your true feeling."
"Ang kapal naman ng mukha mo! Hindi mo naman ako kilala, huh. Kaya hindi mo masasabing nahulog na ako sayo." I couldn't help but raise my voice.
"Yeah, I don't know you. So what? Basta alam kong gusto kita."
"Y-you're lying--."
He cut me off by kissing me. Hindi ko inexpect na gagawin nya ito kaya hindi ako nakaiwas. Magpo-protesta na sana ako pero kumalas din ito agad.
"I'm not lying, honey. Believe me." He said sternly. "I really like you, and it's the truth." He said, almost whispering.
Moments later, I felt his lips on my forehead. Having him beside me is a bliss. But, how about Jude? I am pretending here but here I am, flirting with Ysrael. What if someone would see us in this situation" What if Mr. and Mrs. Maniego would know it? Dammit, I wouldn't help Jude if ever.
With that realization, I pushed Ysrael. Curiosity was seen on his face when I did push him.
"Jude's my boyfriend. I gotta go."
I was about to leave him but he held my hand and made me stop.
"Don't." Ordering me not to go.
But I didn't listen to him. Basta pinilit ko lang bawiin ang kamay kong hawak nito.
"Let go." I said with gritted teeth when he didn't pay attention. "I said let go." I said again.
"I don't want to." Matigas naman na wika nito. Why are you making this hard for both of us?
I tried escaping. Hindi ko na din napansing napagitnaan ako ni Ysrael at ng dingding. He was pinning me against the wall and I couldn't escape.
"Ano ba?! Baka makita tayo ni Jude at--."
"Jude's gay."
"What?" Tanong ko dahil baka iba ang narinig ko.
"Jude is gay. Hes gay that's why he can never be your boyfriend."
"That's a lie! Ano bang alam mo, huh?" I tried to defend Jude. Kung alam nitong bakla si Jude, baka malaman din ito ng parents nila. What will happen to Jude if ever?
"Kambal ko si Ysmael kaya sobrang kilala ko sya. I know him better than you. I know his secret. I know he's gay kaya hindi ako maniniwalang girlfriend ka nya."
LATER that night, we were saying our goodbye. Uuwi na kami ni Jude dahil may pasok pa bukas. Hindi pa uuwi yung isa – alam nyo na siguro kung sino yun. Hindi ko naman ang dahilan nito kung bakit hindi pa ito uuwi. Ayoko namang magtanong.
Honestly speaking, I believed him a while ago. Siguro sobrang kilala nito si Jude - mas kilala nya ito kaysa sa akin – kaya alam kong alam nito ang sikreto ni Jude. I just asked him not to tell Jude's secret to their parents and he promised me he won't. siguro naman may isang salita ito kaya paniniwalaan ko ito. Alam ko naming ayaw nitong masaktan si Jude lalo na't kapatid nya ito.
"Uuwi na ba talaga kayo? Hindi ba delikado, mga anak? Pwede namang ipagbukas ang pag-uwi nyo."
Mrs. Maniego was very persuasive of telling us not to go. Hindi naman kami pwedeng magtagal lalo nat maaga pa ang klase namin ni Jude bukas.
"Ma, we already talked about it, right? Don't worry 'cause I'll drive safely." Jude said.
"Oo nga naman, hon. Let them go. Wala ka bang tiwala sa Ysmael natin?" Mr. Maniego interfered, contracting his wife.
"Pero hon. Accidents do happen. What if--."
"They'll be fine." Mr. Maniego assured her.
Hindi pa din kami umalis ni Jude hanggang sa hindi namin naririnig ang pagpayag ni Mrs. Maniego. Mr. Maniego and Jude also kept on persuading her.
Napapangiti na lang ako sa kanila. It was cute seeing them in that state. I could see love - the romantic love of Mr. and Mrs. Maniego to each other , and the unconditional love that the parents have for their son. I'm quite jealous.
While the two were busy convincing Mrs. Maniego, I went upstairs - to my room specifically. I looked for my things that I forgot to pack a while back. I've searched through the guest room and on the shower room. Wala naman akong nakitang naiwan na gamit.
I decided to go downstairs after. Tutal ay wala naman akong naiwan pa at kailangan na naming umuwi. I dont want to delay our trip of course.
"Ysrael!!" I was shocked when I saw him inside the room. Nakasandal ito sa dingding habang naka-cross arms.
"Hey, honey." He greeted, showing his infamous grin.
"What are you doing--."
I wasn't able to finish my statement 'cause he cut me off. He cut me off by giving the kiss that made my knees go weakly.
Naramdaman ko na pagkatapos ang pagsandal ko sa dingding. Ysrael was giving me the kiss that made me breathless and fragile. And as his kiss went deeper, I kissed him back.
I even clung my arms to his nape when the kiss went more intense. He's a good kisser. He could keep me asking and begging for more.
I even heard myself groaning in protest when he pulled out.
"This is madness." Hingal kong sabi, almost whispering.
"Yep and I'm loving it, honey."
With that, he came close and gave me another mind-blowing kiss.
