My Scream Into the Void

Haunted

I wake up to pain and blood on my sheets
I didn't get much sleep last night
And despite all of this, I have to get up.
There are responsibilities in my life.

First off is work where we're both struggling
to accept the long day ahead.
Then to the library to work on a project
Instead of curling up in bed.

And everything's harder than it should be.
I feel I just want to give up.
But I keep working to make everything right,
Keep working until it gets done.

Then off to class where I just know
I am surely failing.
I never turn in my assignments
And I feel like bailing.

I am going to stick it out
Though everything's telling me don't.
I want to run back home and sleep,
But I know that I won't.

So I drag myself there with so much dread.
Knowing it's all for naught.
Of all the plans I can think of
Accepting an F is the best I got.

Then it's off to class number two
Where I never read a single word
That my teacher assigned for homework.
But I take notes on what I've heard.

And that is my last class for the day
But wound in between
I'm stressing about diabetes care
And what my A1C will be.

My mind doesn't get a moment's rest.
I just want to cry.
When I'm dealing with school, health, and my period
Why do I even try?

Then I have to shake myself.
Those are depression me thoughts.
And they never tell the truth
Even if they sound like they do a lot.

You can do this!
You can do this!
Is what I'm telling myself.
But everything seems so difficult
I think I'll just sit down and melt.