Chandler Riggs and Carl Grimes Imagines

Those terribble feelings ..(Trigger warning)

Personal Imagine for Selena (AmericanHorrorSelena)
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⚠️Trigger Warning⚠️  The following contains suicidal thoughts, depression, and self harm. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. If you're having any thoughts on doing any one of these, or you're going through them. Please talk to anyone. Please get help! Click the link below and it will take you to a website that has all of the helpful hotlines;
http://www.teenhealthandwellness.com/static/hotlines
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Selena's P.O.V
"Mom... Can I tell you something?" I said to my mother, while we were walking around looking for stores.
"Sure, sweetie! What's up?" She responded.
"Well... I was wondering what you think of Carl? I want to hear your honest opinion." I asked.
I should've mention this, but Carl is my boyfriend. We have been dating for about 10 months.
"I like that boy. He is always there for you when you need him. He does a lot for you. I honestly think that he truly does love you,Selena. He's a keeper!" She responded with a smile.
"I'm glad you like accept him, cause I plan on being with him for a long time!" I said, blushing.
"Good! I'll start planning the wedding!" My mom jokingly said.
"Oh my mom!" I said, laughing.
Like always, good moments don't last forever.
Seconds later, my mom was attacked by a walker....
"Mom!!" I yelled in terror.
I quickly pulled out my gun and shot the walker.
"H-honey go.... R-r-run." She said, whimpering in pain.
"No. Mom I'm not leaving you! Stay with me!" I cried out.
"I can't.... S-s-shoot me. It's the only op-option." She said.
"No, no, no. I can't do that." I said, crying louder.
"I-I-I'm sorry..... " My mom said, using her last breath.
Right then and there, my mom died. I watched her died. All I had left to do is shoot her.
*end of flashback *

That was the last time I talked to my mom.

Since then, I've only had Carl, Rick, and the rest of their group. Although I'm loved by them, I still feel very lonely sometimes.

It's actually a very terrible feeling. Especially since I've been hiding my feelings. At first, I was okay with hiding my feelings. As the time passed, my feelings just became harder to contain, so I did the worst thing I could ever do to my body. I began to cut myself. I only have done it at night, when everyone is sleeping, and I cut in places no one can see.

"Selena!" Carl yelled my name as he came into our tent, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Oh hey babe! What's up?" I said, faking a smile.

"My dad and the group are gonna go on a run for more supplies. Wanna go?" He asked, flashing a smile.

"Umm... I'm not feeling too well. I kinda just wanna relax today!?" I said, a little unsure, but I still smiled.

"Oh.. Okay... I'll go tell them you're not going then. I love you! See you later!" Carl said, as he gave me a quick kiss my lips.

"Love you,too! Be safe!" I said, and got up to hug him, then he left.

When it got quite, meaning everyone left. I pulled out a blade I found a couple months ago. I began to think about my mom. I thought about how my life was better with her in it. I began to think about how terrible it's been without her. That's when I began to cut myself. The thinking continued.

All the sudden, my feelings began getting darker and stronger. My mind was asking so many questions. What would happened if I wasn't here anymore? Would Carl be upset ? Would Carl and the group miss me?

I love Carl and the group for taking my mom and I in..... But I just can't take it no more. Everything has become harder for me to handle. Maybe just one more deeper cut....

I began to drag the blade a little deeper than usual... I cried out in pain.

"SELENA!" I heard Carl's voice yell.

"Carl... I-I can't take it no mo-more.... " I whispered.

Carl ran up to me. He threw the blade somewhere out of the tent.
"Selena, don't go babe.... I need you in my life please. Stay alive for me!" He cried out. (|-/)

Carl then began to take care of my cuts. He tried tying up a bandana near my cuts to stop the blood. He then took me in his arms and tried to calm me down.

"Babe... Why did you do this? Why would you do this to your body?! Why would you kill yourself?"

"I just simply couldn't take it anymore. It hurts not having my mom around. I've felt so lonely these past months. I've had you and the group.... But I just couldn't talked to y'all. So I began to take it out on myself at nights, by cutting myself.....I'm sorry...." I answered truthfully.

Carl pulled me closer onto him and said "Selena. You're the girl that I love so much. More than anyone in my life. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever met. I am so lucky to have a girl like you. Hell, I'm lucky that I have met the girl of my dreams at such a young age. You have a whole life ahead of you, and I wanna be part of it. I didn't wanna tell you this, since it sounds a little cheesy, but I honestly wanna marry you. I don't know how I'll get a ring in this messed up world, but I'm gonna get it, and I'll marry you. That is if you want, cause I don't wanna force you. If I want all those things to happen, I need you alive and healthy. Please stop cutting for me. You have a good body. It's perfect in my eyes. Plus, be glad you have your full body. Most people have had some are chopped off, due to walkers biting them. Whenever you feel down or anything, please talk to me. I'm here for you. So is the rest of the group.I just want you to get as much help as you want. Promise me that you'll talk to me more often , and that you'll stop cutting yourself!!!" Carl explained, crying a little bit.

I never thought I met that much to him. He honestly meant every word he meant. I can tell by looking at his eyes.

"I promise. Thank you, Carl. I really needed to let that out." I said, and sighed in relief.

"Good. Are there more things you wanna talk about?" Carl asked.

"No. I'm fine, now. Thank you!" I said, and smiled.

"I love you, Selena!" Carl said, smiling and holding my hand.

"I love you, too, Carl" I said, smiling back.

Carl leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the lips.

"Wait... Why didn't you go on the run ?" I asked Carl, remembering the whole group was on the run.

"I heard the unsureness in your voice earlier. I also knew something was up with you, cause your eyes looked extremely sad. Plus, you gave me a fake smile. I didn't wanna leave my baby girl, knowing something was wrong with her." Carl responded.

I blushed. "Well thanks either way, babe! Thanks for keeping me company right now." I said and cuddled up into his arms.

"I'll always be here baby." Carl said, as he wrapped his arms around me, bringing me closer to him.

I've realized that talking to someone about my problems has helped me a lot. I'm glad I had Carl save me from doing something dumb, that could've ruined my life ....