The Spirit's Obsession {Sequel to Entwined Fire} - #Wattys2016

He needs a name, other than Bubz.

Three days later...

I pushed my hair back behind my ears and slipped inside the room. I had been sat beside Bubz for three days, food and sleep were limited. I only left to shower and I came straight back in here.

I couldn't understand how a hospital will discharge a mom without her baby and expect her to just go home.

I couldn't. I gave up my bed but I was here constantly, he was my baby, he needed me as I needed him.

Zak was sat by the incubator and from the low tones I couldn't only guess he was singing to him. We both took turns in watching over him just in case something happened when we weren't there, but I knew Zak was beyond exhausted. The looks he gave despite trying to keep his hopes high, I understood what he felt like. We were both surviving on less than basics just to be with out little man, but as parents that's one of the main instincts. To care for your child. Today was the christening, and the crew were finally going to meet Bubz.

I listened harder to Zak when a lump surfaced in my throat at what he was singing.

Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around.
Nothing's gonna harm you, no sir, not while I'm around
Demons are prowling everywhere nowadays
I'll send them howling
I don't care, I got ways.

No one's gonna hurt you,
No one's gonna dare
Others can desert you,
Not to worry, whistle, I'll be there.."

I walked over quietly and placed my hand on his back making him sit up and wipe his eyes. "Are you okay?" I whispered.

"Y-yeah. Ahem." He cleared his throat and fixed his shirt.

"How's he doing?" I asked peering into the incubator and observing all the machines.

"Well, we've spoke about Gracie, my mom, your mom and dad, England, our story minus all the naughty parts." He replied making me look at him and smile.

"You can get off home if you want? Go get some sleep?" I suggested.

"No. No I can't. I need to be here. I can't be sleeping through a phone call." He answered shaking his head.

"Okay.. But maybe pop home for a shower?" I suggested. He shook his head and threw his thumb over his shoulder to a holdall.

"Hospital have gave us permission to use one of the rooms as base. I'm paying for it of course as long as they don't need it, they are happy." He replied.

"Then go and get showered and get some sleep. I'm right here now."

Still he shook his head "You haven't slept. So neither am I."

I wasn't going to argue with him, hell I wouldn't win. I sat on his lap and gave him a kiss, pulling away I saw a look that unnerved me.

"What's wrong? Really?"

"I- Nothing. It's not important."

"Yes it is. Tell me."

He looked at Bubz and back at me "Do you think this all happened because of Carmel? You know the first time we went?" He asked.

I shook my head "You feel guilty?"

"Of course I do! I mean, I've put you under so much stress Maria, I made you homeless, I drag you across America to work and then I caught you with the door!"

"By accident." I added.

"It doesn't matter, it still happened. I suggested... God I can't even say it without physically wanting to throw up. But I suggested that. I'm so sorry I said it." He apologised as tears came to the corner of his eyes.

"Hey... No." I wiped his eyes and pushed my forehead against his. "Stop this. Please. You gotta be tough, for me at least. I know it's a lot to ask right now but I need you with me."

"I am. It's just sitting here and seeing how fragile he is. I don't know if I could have done this with anyone else."

"Lucky you don't have to then." I replied, I kissed his forehead and gave him a hug.

We sat there for a while before Zak looked at the time and headed to our part-time room to get a shower and get ready for the christening. I sat looking at Bubz, he needed a name.

I looked at the wires and wished he was still in my belly, away from machines like this. But each one had a purpose and were vital in keeping him well. Over the past three days I had learnt each machine, from the overhead heater with bilirubin lights, ECG and blood pressure monitor, IV pump, Umbilical catheter, oxygen saturation monitor,  feeding tube and finally the most important was his ventilation.

Each with a purpose, each were vital for my little boy.

"I guess it was time I moved back in with Daddy huh? I just wish Uncle Aaron lived next door, you two would be playing star wars battles in the garden every day. Gracie could be Chewwie with her talking. You need a nursery, as well as a name but the most important is for you to get stronger, better and bigger for mummy. My promise will be to give you the best life I can possibly give along with endless bum pats, cuddles and kisses."  I touched the incubator longing just to hold him, my mind always ran questions of if we would have a normal relationship. Most mothers get to bond with their baby, I didn't. I didn't get to see my baby before he was taken away, I only learnt from Zak that he was 3lb 2oz. Full term would have meant he would be a bruiser and labour would have been a bitch but I would trade it in a heart beat then having to sit next to this watching the most delicate little thing in the world fight for his life and oxygen.

"Knock knock." A voice spoke making me turn. Father Ashcraft came into the room smiling at me.

"Thank you so much." I whispered getting emotional.  He came over and took a seat beside me looking at Bubz.

"What a little soul, he's beautiful." He spoke looking at him and the machines.

"See why we needed you?" I asked.

He nodded and looked at me "I do, considering Zak's side of work. I have just came from his house. Aaron let me in, the whole house has been cleansed and blessed. So when the time is right.. There will be no problems taking him home. How are you holding up?" He asked.

"Tired, but I need to be here.. I can't leave him."

He nodded and looked above the incubator on the wall where a small wooden cross hung. "Think its coincidence that he was placed under that? Or do you think it's because he has such a small chance at surviving?" I asked.

"It's lovely to see that they have one up. Most hospitals don't. Religious reasons and such."

I understood and looked at Bubz.

"Do we have a name?" He asked.

I shook my head "No, it's something we have to decide on. I mean, I've got one in mind but I don't know if Zak will like it."

"Well tell me now then?" Zak smiled looking at me fresh shaven, hair done and looking clean. My handsome husband.

"Ah Zak." Father Ashcraft shook his hand as they welcomed each other.

"So.. What name do you have in mind Maria?" Zak asked making me look at Bubz.