CHAPTER 12

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"I can't stay away from you, Dei. Hindi ko kaya..."

And Richard couldn't have been more honest with himself when he said those words to her.

Since their first meeting last week, Dei has stirred in him strong emotions he had never thought he is capable of feeling even in his former life. She gave back to him something that he thought he had lost a long time ago.

She brought him back his humanity.

The young woman has awakened in him human emotions that are too strong to ignore. They are so strong that he is starting to entertain doubts about his decision to remain a guardian when the time to decide comes.

Richard knew that should he eventually end up being a full-pledged guardian then it would not be fair most especially to Dei for them to continue whatever it is that they have now.

He will only hurt her in the process.

So he did what he thought is the right thing to do that time.

He opted to stay away.

The first few days since their time at the forest were a test of will for Richard.

He tried his best to focus on his missions. He went thru the motions of fulfilling his duty of protecting the people he was assigned to watch over or save those he was tasked to rescue from physical harm.

But at the end of each day, his mind still drifts back to the memory of that one special woman he saved at the ledge of his favorite mountain.

On the third day since he last saw her, Richard finally admitted defeat.

He could no longer contain the strong desire he felt to at least check on her to make sure she is safe and doing alright.

So from that day on, Richard would visit her home in the silence of the night to check on her.

He would stay hidden and watch her quietly as she prepares for bed and leave at once when she finally had fallen asleep.

There were times during those nightly visits wherein he thought she actually saw him because she would pause once or twice while combing her hair in front of her vanity mirror or before she climb up the bed to sleep and glance in his direction.

But after a few seconds she would either shrug or simply sigh dejectedly before she continue on with what she was doing.

On the day she was scheduled to return to the mountain for work , Richard quietly sat on a huge boulder on top of the ledge waiting. He has been patiently waiting on that spot since daybreak.

He is not entirely sure if what he is doing is fair for both of them but deep inside him it strangely felt right.

He sat on that boulder patiently awaiting her arrival as he promised her. He looked pensively out at the expanse of land in front of him wondering what sort of power she has over him to make him behave this way.

A few hours later, he heard a familiar voice being carried by the wind.

"I'm finally here! Ang tagal kong hinintay ito. Nandito ka pa ba? I can't wait to see you again..."

His face slowly broke into a bedimpled smile.

She is finally here!

"I'll wait for you here, Dei..." He silently promised as he ramained there eagerly anticipating her arrival.

After some time, he heard rushed footsteps and sounds of twigs breaking and a lone figure suddenly emerged from the secluded foot trail leading to the ledge.

Richard abruptly stood up from where he is seated. But he remained where he was, silently drinking in the happiness that washed over him at the sight of her.

After a few moments of just watching her, he slowly moved towards her direction.

He found her by the edge bent over as try to catch her breath while restlessly looking around her.

He was stopped in his track a few feet behind her when he heard her soft anguished voice.

"Nasaan ka? Sabi mo hihintayin mo ako dito. Sabi mo magkikita pa tayo. Pinaasa mo lang ba ako sa wala?" 

He can clearly hear the pain and bitterness in her voice. The same kind of pain that he suddenly felt inside him right now at the thought that he was somehow responsible for hers.

He took a tentative step towards her before calling her name.

"Dei..."

He saw her visibly stiffen, an indication that she heard him. But she did not turn nor move so he walked a few steps closer before he called her name for the second time.

"Dei.."

By this time he was already directly behind her and he reached out to touch her shoulders, needing the physical connection, before he gently urged her to turn.

She slowly turned towards him. Her eyes are tightly shut and glistening with unshed tears.

He in turn just stared sadly at her beautiful face, committing to memory her delicate features.

Then she slowly opened her eyes and stared back at him.

Richard was taken aback by the intensity of the emotions he saw in her chocolate brown orbs. It almost left him breathless.

"Dei, nandito na ako. Kagaya ng pinangako ko sa iyo."  He uttered huskily as he stared back at her upturned face.

Her answer was a small squeky sound which suddenly turned to a heartbreaking sob. The floodgates of her suppressed emotions finally bursting open and tears flowed freely from her eyes.

Richard's natural inclination to protect people went on overdrive at the sight of Dei's tears.

He instinctively enveloped her in a tight embrace trying as much as he could to shield her from all negativity.
She in turn clung to him like she was drowning and he was her anchor.

Richard could not even start to explain the fierce protectiveness that he feels for this young woman.

He has never felt that way towards anyone even his own family back in his old life. It breaks his heart to see her in this state.

For the first time since he joined the guardians, he felt helpless and vulnerable. But he also knew deep down that he will do everything in his power to make her world right, even at the expense of his own future.

"I can't stay away from you, Dei. Hindi ko kaya..."

Dei pulled back from the embrace and look at him tearfully.

"Where do we go from here, Richard? We barely know each other. We only had a few minutes together and here we are..." Her words trailed off, unsure of how to describe their present predicament.

Richard heaved a deep sigh.

"Hihintayin kita mamayang gabi sa kakahuyan. Mag-usap tayo. Sasagutin ko sa abot ng aking makakaya ang lahat ng mga tanong na bumabagabag sa isip mo..." He said these words while wiping away the tears on her flushed cheeks with his thumb lovingly.

Dei gave him a solemn look as she slowly nod her head yes.

"At ipinagdadasal ako na sana ano man ang malaman mo mamaya tungkol sa akin ay hindi magbago ang pagtingin mo, Dei."

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