In The Arms Of An Angel (ON HOLD)

Chapter 17

"Hi, beshie! I'm home!"

Dei felt like she had a major heart attack when the door to their unit opened and her friend and housemate, Valerie came barging in carrying several grocery bags.

"Grabe, gurl! Ang haba ng pila sa cashier pati sa sakayan ng taxi akala ko madaling araw na ko makakauwi. Nabili ko na nga pala ung binilin mo sa aking..." Valerie suddenly stopped in the midle of her chatter when she turned towards Dei.

Dei thought: "Oh-kay, eto na. Paano ko ngayon ipapakilala sa kanya si Richard?! Isip Dei bilis!" She thought as she scanned her brain for a plausible introduction when Valerie's question broke through her panic striken mind.

"Huy, bes! Ano nangyari syo? Ano't ang putla mo na para kang nakakita ng multo? Bakit ka din nakatulala mag-isa dyan sa sofa?"

Valerie's words made her turn behind her so suddenly that she almost had a whiplash. She found herself indeed sitting alone at the sofa. No trace of Richard anywhere inside the unit as she looked around her in confusion. Valerie stared at her with suspicion.

"Teekahhh! Ung tataa?! May kasama ka dito sa bahay habang nasa grocery ako, noh?? Nasaan na sya? Saan sya nagtatago? Imposibleng si Uno kasi nasalubong ng taxing sinakyan ko ang kotse nya palayo dito kanina. Umamin ka, beshie kung hindi isusumbong kita kina Tita na nagpapapasok ka na ng lalaki dito sa unit natin! Ano nah?!" Valerie swiftly moved around the unit looking inside their bedrooms then behind the sofa and in the bathroom to check if there was indeed someone hiding there as Dei silently watched her nervously.

Dei discreetly released the breath she was holding when Valerie returned to the living room after not finding anything anywhere.

"Ano may nakita ka ba? S-sino naman kasi ang isasama ko dito sa unit?! OA ka,Val ha!" Dei avoided her friend's eyes who in turn continued to suspiciously look at her face again as she walked purposefully back towards the living room and stood in front of her.

"Dei, magkaibigan na tayo since college days natin so di ka makakapagkaila sa akin. May itinatago ka sa akin. Actually last week ko pa napapansin pero di lang ako nagtatanong. Pati si Uno kinukulit na ako. Ano ba un at naaapektuhan na pati work mo? Beshies tayo di ba? Bakit naglilihim ka na sa akin?" Valerie asked as she wiped imaginary tears on her eyes to try to make Dei feel guilty for not sharing.

Dei sighed dejectedly as she watched her friend. If Valerie only knew. She is dying to share her situation now to her bestfriend but will Valerie be able to understand if she herself cannot fully comprehend yet what is happening to her now?

"Hindi naman sa ganun, Val. Huwag mo na lang ako masyado intindihin. Medyo naguguluhan lang ako sa mga bagay bagay pero pag hindi ko na kaya sa iyo ako unang magsasabi, promise." She tried to pacify her friend by pulling her beside her on the sofa to give her a hug.

"Parang napakakomplikado naman ng problema mo. Lovelife ba yan? Sa work? Basta whatever it is, nandito lang ako lagi, beshie." Then Valerie returned her tight hug.

"Hay, kung alam mo lang kung gaano kakomplikado, beshie! Baka pati ikaw hindi mo kayanin!" Dei thought glumly.

That night as she lie down in bed to sleep, Dei tried to speak to Richard again in a whisper.

"Richard, naririnig mo ba ako? Gusto sana kitang makausap ulit ngayong gabi kaya lang ay baka magising si Valerie pag narinig nya tayo. Marami pa akong gustong malaman mula sa iyo. May ibang paraan ba para magkausap tayo?" Dei waited for an answer but nothing came to her. Not a sign nor even an answering voice in her head to confirm that he heard her.

She sighed.

"I am really hopeless." She thought.

She forcefully fluffed her pillow, settled in and willed herself to rest and momentarily let go of her concerns. She eventually fell into deep slumber a few minutes later.

Dei found herself standing alone by the mountain stream again. She wondered how she got there. She walked towards the trees.

A few steps into the woods, she saw him standing beside a very old tree. He smiled sadly at her and literally floated towards where she was. She almost gasped when he stopped only inches away from her.

"Dei, huwag mong gawin 'to. Marapat lamang na pumili ka ng lalaki na maari mong makasamang mamuhay ng normal...hindi ganito. Alam ko sinabi kong hindi ko kayang lumayo sa'yo kaya isang tawag mo lang nandito na agad ako pero..." Dei stopped his words with a finger to his lips.

"Richard, tama ka. Iba ka. Nauunawaan ko rin na hindi ka normal. Di ko rin maintindihan ang sarili ko...pero di ka maalis sa isip ko. Akala ko pagkatapos ng nangyari kanina ay magbabago na ang nararamdaman ko pero hindi eh. Ganun pa rin..." She gave a huge sigh. His hand slowly moved up to her cheeks.

"Hindi mo pa nasagot ang tanong ko sa iyo kanina. Maaari pa ba tayo magkita na kagaya nito kapag isa ka ng ganap na tagabantay?" She asked him with suppressed optimism.

"Dei, hindi magiging madali ang lahat kapag ganap na akong tagabantay. May mga alituntunin at batas akong kailangang sundin. Ang ginagawa nating pagtatagpo ngayon ay maari na ring ituring na paglabag..." His eyes conveyed the conflicting emotions that Dei knew are also reflected in her own gaze.

"Gaano katagal pa bago ang iyong pagtatalaga?" Her mind already plotting all possibilities. She can't just let this pass her by without trying.

"Ang aking pagtatalaga ay nakatakda sa pagsikat ng bagong buwan. Iyon ay sa katapusan na ng buwang ito..." He said. Dei gasped at the information.

"Meron na lang kaming dalawang linggo? Wala na bang extension un?" She thought miserably. But she will not be deterred.

"Ngayon lang ako nakaramdam ng ganito sa isang lalaki. Nais kong makasama ka kahit sandali lang. Kahit bago ka maging ganap na tagabantay. Dadalawin mo ako sa aking panaginip at magpapanggap tayo na ordinaryo lang tayong tao. Hindi ka isang tagabantay kapag magkasama tayo...ikaw lang si Richard." She stated with conviction.

"Subalit..." He tried to reason but she won't have it.

"Nasa loob tayo ng aking panaginip, di ba? Maari nating gawin ang gusto natin sa isang panaginip. Walang limitasyon. Nais lamang kitang makasama kahit sa maikling panahon kahit sa ganito paraan."

"Hindi mo alam ang hinihiling mo, Dei. Masasaktan ka pa rin kahit sa panaginip lang. Ayokong mangyari iyon sa iyo..." He caressed her cheek lovingly. She leaned her head towards his hand.

"Alam ko, Richard. Maaring sabihin ng iba na kabaliwan ang gagawin ko pero ito ang gusto ko. Kung ito lang ang paraan para makasama ka kahit maikling panahon lang gagawin ko..."