In The Arms Of An Angel (ON HOLD)

Chapter 21

"Dei, ito na ang huli nating pagtatagpo. Patawad."

She could not believe she will be hearing those words from him. Never from him.

It's like the floodgates of her tears were forcibly opened and she could no longer control the flow of misery that suddenly overcame her with those words. She tried her best to put a tight rein on her emotions and bravely confronted him.

"You can't possibly mean that...sinusubukan mo lang ako! Sabihin mong joke lang iyon! Tatawa ako kahit hindi magandang biro iyon. Wag mong gawin 'to. May one week pa ako para makasama ka. Bakit mo biglang puputulin agad? May nagawa ba ako? Ano?! Sabihin mo, please..Wag naman ganito..." She literally begged him as he watched her with the saddest expression.

"Dei, alam mong dadating ang araw na ito..." He said calmly once more but she is already close to hysteria.

"Alam ko nga, di ba?! Pero bakit ngayon na?! May isang linggo pa tayo, di ba?! At may pag-asa pa tayo. Buhay pa ang katawang lupa mo, di ba? Even if you don't want to confirm it, alam kong tama ako. Ano ang dahilan? Sabihin mo!" She literally screamed at him. She is sobbing uncontrollably by now.  She could barely breath because of the strong emotions running though her.

This no longer feels like a dream. The pain is just too real for her.

"Dei, makinig kang mabuti..." Richard said earnestly as he held her face between his hands to make her look straight at his face.

She can't help but close her eyes for a moment to compose herself as she put  her hands on top of his on her cheeks, trying to seek solace in the skin to skin contact as the tears continued to stream down her face. When she had gathered enough courage she opened her eyes again to bravely stare at his hazel ones.

"Okay, nakikinig ako..." She answered.

"Dei, hindi ko kayang nakikita kang nasasaktan na gaya nito. At iyon lang ang maaaring mangyari kung ipagpapatuloy pa natin kung anung meron tayo ngayon. Huwag kang mabuhay sa isang panaginip. Gusto kong mabuhay ka ng normal. Totoo, buhay pa ang katawang lupa ko...subalit piliin ko mang talikuran ang aking tungkulin bilang tagabantay, wala pa ring kasiguraduhang magiging tayo sa buhay na ito...Hindi ko alam kung paano ko ipauunawa sa iyo..."  He was having difficulty explaining because he looked deeply affected by her cries of despair.

"Richard, kailangan kong maintindihan. Bakit? Kung may isang parte pa ng pagkatao mo ang connected pa sa mundong ito, may paraan pa para magkasama tayo. Wala naman talagang kasiguraduhan sa mundong ito. Pero pwede nating subukan. Wag kang sumuko agad. Handa ako sa kahit anong dapat kong gawin. Bakit gusto mong putulin ang ugnayan natin? Sabihin mo..." She pulled his hands from her face and clutched them close to her heart that is beating erratically against her chest.

"Dei, masyadong komplikado ang mga bagay sa pagitan natin. Hindi ko sinadya na mapalapit sa iyo. Ayaw kitang masaktan subalit hindi ko man sadyain iyon pa rin ang mangyayari." He was also holding on tight to her hands, not wanting to let go.

"Paano na tayo? Mas higit mo akong sinasaktan sa gagawin mong paglayo. Kung may paraan pa, bakit hindi muna natin subukan?" She looked at his eyes searchingly. He sighed.

"Dei, maaring buhay pa ang katawang lupa ko. Subalit hindi ko na alam kung saan ko ito matatagpuan. Nang mapabilang ako sa mga tagabantay, nabura rin ang pisikal na koneksyon ko sa lahat ng may kaugnayan sa nakaraang buhay ko dito sa lupa..."  He looked like a lost child as he tells her these.

"Maari kong hanapin ang katawan mo. Hindi ako titigil hangga't di ko iyon nakikita..." She answered earnestly.

"Dei, hindi lamang ang paghahanap sa katawan ko ang magiging hadlang..." He is almost in a trance. Seemingly lost in a long forgotten memory.

"Ano mang hadlang, kaya natin 'yun. Hindi tayo susuko. Tayong dalawa. Wag kang bibitiw. Mangako ka, Richard. Dahil ako hindi ako susuko, pangako ko 'yan...pangako..." She was still sobbing helplessly when she felt firm hands gripping her arms.

"Nooo! Huwag mong gawin 'to! Wag kang lumayo, please! Richard!!!" She wailed as she sees him slowly fading from her sight as he got swallowed by a thick mist that suddenly descended around them.

She could only make out his silhouette amidst the mist when she heard his last words to her:

"Hayaan mong puso ang kusang makaalala..."

Then she was alone. She shouted his name in despair:

"Richard!!!"

A slap to her face made her open her eyes and she bolted up from her bed. She was clutching her chest, her sobs still making it very difficult to breathe that she was literally gasping for air.

She looked around her, slowly slipping back to reality. She is back inside her room at the condo unit she shares with her friend and assistant. The very same person sitting beside her now on the bed rubbing her arm up and down worriedly.

"Dei, calm down. It's just a bad dream. Here, inom ka muna..." Valerie said softly as she handed her a glass of water that is on her bedside table.

Instead of drinking the water being handed to her, Dei grabbed Valerie in a desperate hug and clung to her like she was drowning and her friend is the only one who can safe her.

"Val, iiwan na nya ako..." She whimpered brokenly.

Valerie struggled to not spill the content of the glass while she try to console her friend who is now sobbing uncontrollably in her arms. She reached out to put the glass back down on the bedside table before she gathered Dei closer in a comforting hug.

"Dei, wait. Kalma ka muna. Nakakatakot ka na, ah. Ano ba ang nangyayari syo? Sinong mang-iiwan syo?  Nananaginip ka lang. Shhhh... Tahan na..."  Valerie continued to make comforting sounds as she rubbed Dei's back to help her calm down.

They stayed like that for a few minutes until Dei was able to regain some control over her emotions. When her sobs subsided, Valerie grabbed again the glass of water, guided it to her mouth and forced her to drink. She took the glass with shaking hands and took a couple of sips. When she was done, Val took again the glass from her as she try to calm herself. She knew Valerie is waiting for her to explain her breakdown.

"Okay ka na ba, gurl? Kaya mo na bang ikwento ang sinasabi mong nang-iwan s'yo? Sya ba yung Richard na tinatawag mo kanina?" Val asked her carefully. Dei tried to take a steadying breath before facing her friend.

"Val, naaalala mo ba yung kinuwento ko syo last week na lalaking nakikita ko sa panaginip ko?" She asked her friend quietly.

"Ammm, ung sinabi mo na di mo kilala pero napapanaginipan mo lagi? What about him?" Val asked with a small frown.

"Val, sya si Richard. Gabi-gabi ko sya kasama sa panaginip ko for the past seven days pero kanina nagpaalam na sya at sinabing huling pagtatagpo na namin..." She said haltingly.

Valerie was just looking at her doubtfully. She on the other hand as reached a decision.

"Val, hindi ako papayag na wala akong gagawin...hahanapin ko sya..."