In The Arms Of An Angel (ON HOLD)

CHAPTER 24

"Richard, alam mo bang third monthsary ng pagkakilala natin ngayon?...Wala man lang bang paramdam dyan?" She whispered to the wind as she looked on at the expanse of land, sea and sky in front of her. It has been more than two months since she last saw him and she misses him terribly.

"Kahit pamonthsary mo na lang sa akin, please. Paramdam ka naman kahit sandali lang...kahit ngayon lang...miss na miss na kita..." A tear fell from her right eye and she immediately wiped it away.

"No! hindi ako malulungkot... monthsary natin ngayon. Kailangan happy lang...kebs lang."

She started humming a happy tune but it did nothing to alleviate the heavy feeling inside her.

She sighed. The frustration is eating her alive. It's as if things just happened yesterday instead of months ago.

She can still vividly remember all that happened that fateful day. She was so inconsolable that time that at the hospital more than two months ago. Her parents arrived and literally forced her to go home immediately after making sure everything is fine with her tests. She begged them to allow her to see him but they did not let her.

They sort of interrogated her about him but she opted to stay mum about his identity. She knew they will not be able to understand the situation anyway. It was only Valerie who knew about him but even her do not know the whole story.

The inability to share her grief to another person just made it more difficult to cope with her loss. It felt as if something inside her also died with him that day.

So she came up with the plans for this trip. Valerie tried to persuade her to change her mind.

"Bes, parang di yata ako agree sa plano mo...ni hindi mo pa nga maikwento ng buo ang history nyo ng lalaking yun nang hindi naiiyak until now tapos gusto mo bumalik pa sa lugar na yun? Para ano? Magreminisce ng memories nyo together na sa panaginip lang naman nangyari? Iba na yan, gurl. Dapat na ba akong matakot?!"

She gave out a bitter laugh at the memory. Valerie must have thought she's gone crazy.

Maybe she's really gone crazy.

It felt like it. The experience is too painful it's almost physical. The pain too real and too raw for words.

But she is already quite tired of crying. She realized it's time to stop.

Today she has decided to spend the day here in this place instead of heading off to the beach which is her safe haven and refuge when she is down or if she wants to think things over.

She wanted to spend this day on the very place where she first met him.

Where she fell in love with him...

It took her sometime to finally admit that to herself. She loved him. She still loves him.

But now she is ready to move on. That would be her gift to herself on her upcoming birthday.

Richard already made his choice more than two months ago. It's time that she accepted that and start the process of moving on.

When she goes back to the city tomorrow, she will start on a clean slate as she resumes her life before Richard. She wants to purge him from her system once and for all so she can lead a normal life again.

She stood close to the edge of the cliff, took a deep breath before she let all her pent up emotions out.

She wiped away the path of tears on her cheeks with the back of her right hand before she shouted out to the open space before her at the top of her lungs:

"Richard, alam kong naririnig mo ako ngayon. Gusto kong magthank you sa iyo kasi tinuruan mo akong magmahal. Hindi man tayo nagkasama ng matagal pero sapat na para sa akin ang maikling panahong iyon para matutunan kitang mahalin. Naririnig mo ba ako? Ang sabi ko MAHAL KITA! Kahit halos ikamatay ko na ang lungkot at pangungulila sa iyo ganun pa rin ang nararamdaman ko hanggang ngayon. Feeling ko nga forever ka na dito titira sa puso ko. Kahit halos ikabaliw ko na ang kakaisip sa iyo araw araw...kahit maweirduhan na ang pamilya at mga kaibigan ko...kahit hindi mo pa ako pinili sa bandang huli mahal pa rin kita! Kahit sobrang sakit na MAHAL PA RIN KITA! Pero nakakapagod nang umiyak...nakakapagod nang malungkot...nakakapagod nang umasa sa wala...kaya kailangang tapusin ko na ang kabaliwang ito ngayon!!!

She did not hold back anything and she was sobbing openly by then. She let out a wail of despair as she clasped her chest with both hands in futile attempt to keep it from bursting with too much emotions.

Then she suddenly heard a male voice shouting from somewhere behind her....

"Miss! 'Wag kang tatalon!!!"

But before she could turn around to see who it was, two very strong pair of arms encircled her waist and forcefully pulled her back from the ravine's edge.

She was so shocked that she lost bearing and stumbled. She tried to compensate by twisting her body towards the other person but they inevitably ended up falling on the ground together with her on top of the man, her face on his neck and both her hands on his broad chest.

They remained motionless for a few seconds after falling, both winded because of the impact of the fall. It was Dei who recovered first and started to struggle against the arms of the man who attacked her. The man let his arms fall limply to his sides and Dei took this oppotunity to get away from him to give him a piece of her mind. She propped herself up from his chest so she can look at the man to tell him off but the angry words died down on her lips when she saw his face.

"I-ikaw..."