Love. A Conor Maynard Love story.

Chapter 25

The time is just over eight a clock and me and Jack have finished editing and putting up my video. The editing part was harder than I thought but luckily Jack promised to help me with it until I learn how to do it myself. Conor came down for some food about and hour ago and he's now tucked up on the sofa, I've got his legs in my lap so he could stretch out just as much that he wanted. He's still not feeling better and I have started to worry about the trip this weekend.

- Look, Conor say and hold up his phone in front of my face.

It's a picture from instagram that was put up exactly one year ago. I read the caption.

How do you manage to climb back up, when someone have pushed you so far down?

The photo is of Conor staring out of a car window whilst raindrops making their way down the glass. It's a very deep picture and you can tell it is from the time he still struggled to get over his breakup.

- Why are you showing me such a depressing photo Con, I say and give him the phone back

- I got this dm sent to me before and you just have to read what she wrote, Conor say and open up his Twitter.

I take his phone back and start reading.

Conor, I know you probably won't read this but if you do please think back to one year ago. I was just casually scrolling through your instagram earlier and for some reason I managed to find this picture from this day exactly a year ago. I guess it was after the tough breakup you had with your ex-girlfriend. Yesterday you put up a picture of you and Anna, your lovely girlfriend. The way you two smile on this photo just shows how long you've come so far and that bad things often leads to something better. I hope this made you feel better and I'm sure you two have more exciting times to look forward to.  Love from Marissa, a fan since 2009.

I put the phone down and feel the tears burning behind my eyes.

- Thats so nice of her, I say trying really hard not to cry.

- I cried when I read it first time, Conor say and take his phone back.

I can't hold it in anymore and tears start streaming down my face. It's just so beautiful.

- Me too, I say and look at Conor

I wipe my tears with the arm on Conor's hoodie and the light grey fabric get dark, wet stains.

- You should screenshot that and tweet it or something, I say as Conor put his arm around me.

- I've already done that, but isn't my maynciacs amazing, I can't even describe how much I love them, Conor say and I look at his ocean blue eyes that just shine with happiness.

One year ago would be the time I got a call from a crying Conor saying he didn't knew if he could cope with everything anymore, it used to happen at least two times a week. I remember these midnight Skype calls, trying to get him to feel better, or all the emergency flights I booked for like the next day, just to be there when he needed me the most. I missed a lot of college and my friends would always ask me what I was up to. I felt so bad not being able to tell them. It took long time for Conor to climb up from the deep hole of depression, its just now that we really live with each other that I can tell he's the happy one you used to see on YouTube before everything happened.

Conor put his arm around me and pull me close.

- Do you remember when we were just friends, you used to call me, crying your eyes out saying you couldn't do it anymore and I booked flights just to come and talk to you face to face, I say and lean my head against his shoulder.

- That was one of the toughest times in my life, living on my own before I moved in with Jack and Josh, I was so depressed and you became my safety zone, I'm not proud over it but it's something that have made me to the one I am today, Conor say and I can tell the sadness in his voice. It's almost like his about to cry just thinking back on those memories.

- And my parents don't even know that I was traveling in between the country's on my own, I remember being terrified that someone would find out, I say looking at the wall in front of me.

The fact was that my parents didn't like that I spent time with Conor just because the quite big difference in age. It wasn't until they got to meet him in person that they understood that he was actully really nice and mature. I don't think they thought it was anything serious just because I had been a fan of him before. Long before I even imagine that I was going to meet him in real life I used to say that I loved him and my parents did apparently think that it was the same kind of love this time around. I went to college in Stockholm and I lived there on my own. My parents live down in the south of Sweden so it wasn't hard to get away with the trips. I haven't even told them what I did yet and maybe we'll just keep it as mine and Conors secret.