Love. A Conor Maynard Love story.

Chapter 50

Anna's P.O.V

"Famous British popstar in hospital due to suicide attempt"

I read the headline over and over again, the picture of Conor being the first thing I see. Why, why did he do it?

Slowly tears start streaming down my face, was it my fault, was it me who caused him to want to end his life?

Quickly do I search up the nearest flight to London, my fingers hovering over the button to book it for a few minutes before I decide to do it. I needed to see him, I wanted to make up for the things I did to him, for making him suffer. Because even though it was his fault in the beginning do I still feel bad for just leaving him like I did.

It doesn't take long before I get bombarded with calls and emails about it, as if I'd know something. I just cry through every interview, thanking god he didn't succeed in his mission.

........

I cry for hours until it's time to go to the airport, to fly and meet the love of my life that almost died a few hours ago.

It was just under two years since I did this trip last time, unaware of the things that it would give me, unaware of the fact that I'd be going back like this. Like a mess with makeup down my cheeks and my hair in a messy bun. I looked like actual trash not gonna lie, still I didn't care because I still lived, my heart was still beating and my lungs were still breathing.

I sink down in my seat as I wait to board the plane when I get a call from Jack.

"Ans I'm sorry to be calling you this late but I just wanted you to know that Conor..... That Conor tried to.....tried to you know"

He stutter and I picture his face in my head, him crying in hospital, probably outside his brother's room, calling everybody he can think of just to tell them the heartbreaking news.

"Jack I already know, I read it earlier today"

I decide not to tell him about me coming back, I don't want Conor to know.

"Oh, are you sad about it, I don't want to force you into feeling sorry for someone who caused you so much pain"

Even though I'm crying can't I stop the small smile from showing on my lips, Jack was the sweetest human being I'd ever known.

"To be honest with you, I'm destroyed, like wrecked and I'm so releaved he didn't succeeded, that he's still alive"

It was the honest truth. Is it normal to feel like that towards a person who practically destroyed your life, who ditched you for some random girl in a club. I hated that picture of him, the way he came across in media yet I knew he was different. He's got a big heart and I've got to experience his love, he loved me and I loved him back. We were made for each other and needed each other in that time of our lives, still that was all history now, the Conor Maynard I once knew is no longer here with us.

............

I wrap my arms tighter around my body as I walk along the quiet streets of London. It was as if everyone had stayed in tonight, as if no-one wanted to enjoy themselves and I felt all alone, like if this maybe wasn't a good idea at all.

Stopping in front of my and Conor's old place do I burst out in tears. I've still got the keys to our flat, or should I say his flat as I no longer lived there.

You can see the kitchen window from the street and I recognise the plants on the windowsill, we'd bought them together when we moved in, now they were all dead, just like our relationship.

Hesitating on wethear I should go in or continue my journey to Joe's do I just stand there, shivering as the cold wind find its way in underneath my thin jacket.