Unbroken

Chapter 39 Defying Agony

Soundtrack: In the Arms of the Angel by Sarah Mclachlan

I've seen many lives wasted in front of my very eyes. I've seen them suffer, I've seen their pain. Some of them died because of me. I killed them. But did I feel anything at all? Yes, I was guilty of taking their lives. Every night before I sleep, I try to justify my killings. I try to get away with the fact that I am no one but a monster. I am just like a criminal who pleaded not guilty for the crimes that I know I consciously did. For the crimes that I committed without my morals intact.

The day that I became the mafia boss, I still had it in me. The beast inside is still sulking in a deep sleep. The demon inside me was still sealed by the people that I love, by those that I am trying to protect. I wanted to be just like that, tamed and still rational. I wanted a second chance and relive my life. To be with my mom and dad, my sister and my loved ones. I wanted that. But then, two of the seals were broken. Two of the most protective seals were slashed away without me doing anything. And because of that, the beast is slowly making way to life.

It's been two days. Two days since the seals were broken. My once lively world now became a little bit dimmer. A little bit darker. Just like this dark and hollow room, my heart seems to be temporarily empty once again.

"I have no participation in the ambush that happened, my Lord. Believe me."

I highly believed in due-process. But now, my ears are closed from any explanations needed. Pipiliin ko na lamang ang papakinggan ko.

"Wa--wala po akong ki-kinalaman doon."

Natawag ng aking pansin ang nauutal na lalakeng nagsalita. Nakatayo ito sa tabi ng isa pang lalake na kampanteng nakatingin sa akin. Nasaan nga ba ako? Ah, Pentagon. I am here to lay down my verdict. For two days, this has been my home. I am here to make peace with the traitors. I held the gun on the table and started assembling the silencer. Alam kong bawat galaw ko ay inaabangan ng dalawang akusado, habang ang mga tauhan kong nakapalibot ay tahimik lamang na sinisiguro ang aking kaligtasan.

"The two of you were the persons assigned to design the security feature of the territories, right?" I asked in my bored tone. I've been sitting here for hours and this was only the time that they started speaking. Matapos kong maayos ang baril ay inilapag ko itong muli sa lamesa.

Mabilis na tumango ang lalaking nauutal na nagsalita kanina. Sinuri ko ang itsura niya. Nakasuot ito ng salamin at maayos ang pagkakagupit ng buhok. Ang suot nitong pormal na damit ay plantsadong plantsado ngunit nalukot na dahil sa paulit ulit na pagyuko. Kitang kita ko ang panginginig niya dahil sa mga tingin ko. Habang sa tabi niya, nakatayo ang lalakeng walang bakas ng takot. Tiningnan ko siya sa mata at hinintay na mailang. Wala. Diretso lang siyang nakikipagtagisan ng tingin sa akin.

"We were the one assigned to design, my Lord. But no, hindi kami nakipagkasundo sa kaaway para lamang ipagkanulo ang mga Sullivano." He didn't blink. He didn't even make a move. Sa unang tingin mo pa lamang ay nagsasabi na siya ng totoo.

Tumango tango ako sa pahayag nilang dalawa. I leaned on the swivel chair and turned it around to face the plain black wall. Hinilot hilot ko ang aking sintido. No, not again. If only I could kill headache. Muli kong iniikot ang upuan at ibinaling ang tingin sa baril na naghihintay kong gamitin. Nagpabalik balik ang tingin ko sa dalawang lalake at sa baril. This won't do.