Keep It To Yourself -Gallavich

Carnage "the trilogy"

I wake up and Ian's still sleeping.

I don't want to wake him up.

He's so adorable.

God damn.

I love him.

I don't think he knows that.

"I really like you Ian...I think I may love you."

I whisper.

I don't want him to hear

"I think I really like you too, Mickey."

Shit

"You're awake?"

"Mhm."

I run my hand through his hair.

"What are we going to do about this?"

"What?"

"Nothing, it doesn't matter right now. All that matters right now is the space we're in right now."

Titus jumps on the bed and lays between me and Ian.

Ian opens his eyes and looks at Titus.

"When did you get a dog, Mickey?"

"Found him a while ago. Outside. He followed me home. So now this is his home."

"You're just so sweet aren't you?"

"I might be. Don't tell, though. I'm still a gangster."

I smile and Ian smiles back at me.

"Should we get up?" Ian asks

"I don't want to. But we might have to."

"Nah, I don't think so."

"Do what are we supposed to do all day? We can't just lay here."

"Why not?"

"Because, Ian...because...um...it can't be that exciting to stay here all day."

Thank god I figured out something to say

"Why not?"

"We could just talk."

"About what?"

"I don't know, Mickey...anything?"

"Well then start talking." I say.

"I didn't know you were gay." Wow Ian. Subtle.

"I didn't know you were gay either...until..yeah."

"Yeah."

"Do you really like me?"

"I told you I did."

"How do you know?" Ian says.

"Do you like me?"

"Yeah."

"How do you know, Ian?"

"I don't know, Mickey."

"Ok then."

"Can I ask? Why did you do it?" I ask Ian referring to his suicide attempt

"Because I was sad. I was just...really sad. But I'm not anymore so it's ok."

"Ok." How do you just become sad and then be ok after?

"I'm glad you found me. Because I'm glad to be here with you."

"I'm glad too."

"You know, I feel like I've known you for ever. Cause, this just feels right." Ian slides his hand up my arm and places it on my shoulder.

"Yeah..."

"Yeah?"

"I mean I agree. I feel the same way, actually."

"Do we tell anyone this happened?"

Mickey Milkovich is not gay. This isn't real. This isn't right. Ignore these feelings. You have to.

"No."

"Why not, mickey?"

"Because. Because....we have to make sure. Make sure this is ok."

"Ok?"

"For us. We have to make sure this is going to work out for us."

"Oh. Yeah that makes sense."

"Yeah."

"What time is it?"

I turn over and look at my clock.

11:35

"It's eleven-forty"

"I should probably go then."

"Ian no. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but. It jut makes sense. Not to rush things."

Ian starts putting his clothes on.

"I know. I get it. But if we have to go slow then we probably shouldn't stay in bed all day together right? It's ok. I get it. I'm not upset."

Ian finishes putting his clothes back on.

"I'll see you around."

Ian kisses me and leaves.

Damn.

Back at it again with another chapter

❌STAY OK❌