Keep It To Yourself -Gallavich

Refuse ☀️

Dedications: officialbroop SovereignOfSilence whisp123

"Do you know where we are actually going first in this car? The fucking hospital Mickey."

Ian stands next to me, still bent over spitting out blood.

"I'm not going."

Ian puts his hand on my back.

"You have to."

"No." I spit again and stand up.

I feel lightheaded and wobble.

"You can't even stand for fucks sake!"

I don't want to go. What if something's wrong?

I don't want anything to be wrong.

I'm going to have to take medicine that isn't going to help and it's just going to suck.

Medicine

"Ian...did you take your pills today?"

"Jesus Christ Mickey! Yes! I did! Now get into the fucking car and lets gooo."

"Fine. But I'm driving."

Ian races in front of me and gets into the drivers side.

"No you're not." He kind of smiles. I toss him the keys and walk around the car and get in.

I feel good now. I don't feel bad at all.

They're probably going to think nothing wrong with me. Send me back home and with nothing- even if there is something wrong.

Ian starts the car and we start to drive to the hospital.

I grab Ian's hand and squeeze it.

"I feel ok now."

"Yeah? Still going."

He's relentless.

"Will you talk to me?"

"I'm driving, mick."

Is he more afraid than I am? Is that why he's not talking to me?

"I love you."

"I love you too." He says back not even looking at me.

"I mean it." I stare at him.

"I mean it too." He looks at me briefly and then back at the road.

We sit quietly until we get to the hospital.

Ian hurries over to me as if I'm an old lady who needs help getting out of the car.

"Get off me." I push his hands away and he kind of smiles.

At least he knows I'm joking.

We walk in and Ian goes up to the front desk while I go sit down.

He brings me a clipboard with, like, 15 papers attached to it.

"I have to fill all of this out?"

Ian nods his head and hands me a pen.

A lot of these questions I don't even know the answer to.

'When's the last time you have been to the hospital?'

Um I don't fucking know?

Years probably.

I fill it out as best I can and I get most of the way done-