Keep It To Yourself -Gallavich

Coming to an end ☀️

(If you really wanna cry play "to build a home" by The Cinematic Orchestra at the "❌")

After sitting in traffic for about 30 minutes we start to move.

About 10 minutes after that everything has cleared up. Everyone's going 70, well, 80.

Me and Ian are talking about stuff we see out the window and other random things until I start coughing.

I cough into my hoodie sleeve that's covering the back of my hand.

I wipe my mouth and there's blood on it. Not enough, but enough to know.

I thought I was getting better? I haven't done that in a few days, so why now?

I'm not stressed, I'm actually really happy. I'm enjoying myself for once.

I'm not tired, I sleep way better when Ian's next to me.

I'm eating healthy-well, healthier than usual, when Ian went to the JROTC program he started eating healthy and now he gets on me for it.

I don't know what else it could be?

If it was from that crash a while back the doctors would have caught it right?

Of course they would have. They're doctors. It's their job.

"Um...you ok mick?" Ian looks at me

"Yeah," I smile "I bit my lip"

He lets it go but he doesn't seem to believe me. Not fully at least. But he's not a doctor so he can't actually say I didn't bite my lip.
❌
If it gets any worse I'll go to a doctor. For real. I can't die of something stupid when I have him and Titus waiting for me everyday.

I can't die. Because heaven isn't real.

I know that because heaven is here on earth with Ian.

I look down and reach for his hand. Our arms rest side by side on the center console.

The sun shines through the windows of the car and I feel like everything good is happening all at the same time.

I know he feels it too because he smiles at me.

I smile back and look at the road. I think about all the good times I've had with him. Like every memory flashes through my head all at once.

This is heaven

And you cannot convince me otherwise.

He squeezes my hand and I look at him.

And then I see it.

A car. Headed straight toward us.

In the blink of an eye it's over the cement barrier and colliding with us. Head on.

Everything flashes before my eyes. Everything that could have been. And I know it never will be.

In this moment I know this is it. But not for him. Just for me.

Everything goes black. And then I see myself inside the car. I'm unconscious. Ian's looking at me. He's yelling my name. But I'm gone.

I'm not even inside my body even more.

I don't know what's happened to me.

But he's trying to stop the bleeding from somewhere, anywhere.

He's crying, frantic. He doesn't know what to do.

I feel tears run down my face, he can't hear me.

Every car on this side of the highway stops. Our cars in the middle of the lanes, both of the front ends crushed into each other.

People move their cars over to the side as best they can as paramedics arrive.

I stand there yelling as they pull Ian out of the car. As they pull him away from me.

His screaming echoes into my head.

The drivers side door fell off from being crushed and paramedics stabilize me, and put me onto a gurney.

There's another man, the one who hit us. He's dead too.

Ian stands back and watches my body being taken away. I try to grab his arm but I can't touch him. I can't talk to him.

They lift me into the ambulance and they  help Ian up into it too. He sits and holds my hand.

His left shoulder is dislocated. His collar bone pushes against the skin under his shirt. It's broken.

The doors close and I watch the sirens turn on as they speed away down the highway.

I look around and see the people watching.

They just watched me die. And they don't even know that I can see them.