Indelible Love

Chapter 39

Moving on doesn't mean you forget about things, it just means you have to accept what happened and continue living.

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They say the person you don't want to see often appears face to face with you. Kahit na ayaw mo siyang makita, gumagawa ka ng paraan para maiwasan siya pero laging kabaliktaran pa rin ang nangyayari. Minsan nga maiisip mo na lang gusto ka bang paglaruan ng tadhana... gusto niyang makita na nahihirapan ka but the funny thing is that person you keep on avoiding doesn't know how you don't want to see him.

Katulad ngayon kahit ayaw kong makipagkita sa kanya, kailangan pa rin. They say time will heal every pain but in my case it's not. Nandito pa rin ang sakit.

Nilapag ko ang hair brush at tinignan ang relo. It's time. Tumayo na ako at kinuha ang susi ng kotse ko. Tinignan ko ang sarili ko sa salamin. I'm good so far. Huminga ako ng malalim at pumunta na sa restaurant kung saan kami magmemeeting.

Pagpasok ko sinalubong agad ako ng isang waitress.

" Do you have a reservation Ma'am? " tumango ako.

" L-liam Bustamante. "

Even muttering his name is difficult how much more if he's already in front of me.

" This way Ma'am. " she said then lead the way.

Nang makaupo ako ay sinandal ko agad ang likod ko sa upuan.

" Would you like to order Ma'am? " tanong sa akin ng babae.

" Water please. " she just nod her head then bow before going away.

Ipinikit ko ang mata ko.

" I'm sorry. Did we keep you wait? " wika ng isang tinig.

Iminulat ko ang mata ko at nakita ko ang isang babaeng parang manika sa ganda. Her innocent eyes and her sweet smile... sino bang hindi mahuhulog sa kanya. She's close to perfection and me? I'm just nothing but a failure and full of regrets. I would never be good enough.

Umiling ako. I can't help but to not smile. Ngayon lang ako nakaramdam ng insecurities and the hell with that. I'm not here to make my insecurities and fucking discuss it.

" Kararating ko lang. " wika ko.

" That's a relief then. " tumango na lang ako. Inilibot ko ang paningin ko pero ang taong inaasahan kong makita ay wala.

Should I feel happy now?

" Oh before we start, let's wait first for my husband. Naghanap lang siya ng parking. " she said then smile sweetly.

Husband. I wanna laugh my ass off right now.

Why do I feel like I am a bitch here? Is it because of my make up? Too much dark huh? Is it becuse of my off shoulder dress? Sa tingin ko maayos silang nagsasama... masaya silang nagsasama. Huminga ako ng malalim... kaya mo ito Nicole, marami ka ng napagdaanan and this will just be a piece of cake.

Meeting with my ex? Magiging madali lang ito kung talagang nakamove na ako sa kanya pero nagsisimula pa lang ako. And I think I already had forgotten our closure two years ago like how he had forgotten my whole existence.

" Oh here he is. " wika niya at tumayo para salubungin ang lalaki.

Nabato ako sa kinauupuan ko.

His scent...

... it's still the same as before. Yung pabangong niregalo ko sa kanya noon sa anniversary namin. Kumirot yung isang bahagi ng puso ko na hindi na  dapat.