Attack on Titan One-Shots {Requests CLOSED}

Forgive yourself~ Armin x Reader

Modern AU.
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You closed your eyes, trying to fall asleep. You pulled the sheets over your body, but you couldn't relax and drift into an abyss of dreams. It was your fault. Your best friend was in a car crash and it was your fault.

You stayed still in the car, not reaching for your phone. Shock overtook you as you stared through the windshield. Your friend grunted. "(y/n)!" That brought you back to reality.

You blinked, reaching for your phone. Everything was in slow-motion as you dialed 911. You had been staring off into space for who knows how long before you had done that.

Your vision became blurry as tears filled your eyes. You hadn't called right away. You were too shocked. But, maybe if you had, she wouldn't have died.

Armin kept telling you that it would get easier. Eventually. He was a mutual friend of yours. He had received the news and immediately called you. When you didn't answer, he went to your house and opened the door with the key you gave him.

He found you in your room, staring at the wall. He wrapped his arms around you as you let it all out, sobbing.

That was a month ago. You were still heartbroken over the loss of your friend and nothing had changed. You never told Armin or anyone about your thoughts. . . How you blamed yourself.

You sobbed, wishing you could bring her back. You couldn't go to sleep. This would happen occasionally. A bit of makeup and a fake smile would cover up the tired eyes and brokenness. But, Armin could see right through it.

You sighed, grabbing your phone from your nightstand. You pressed the power button, making your lockscreen appear. You blinked several times, adjusting to the bright light. When you did, you entered your password.

You bit your lip, debating whether you should text Armin or not. You didn't want to wake him up. You were exhausted, but you just couldn't close your eyes long enough to rest. You decided to text him. He probably had his phone on silent anyway. You tapped on your phone, sending the text.

Hi.

To your surprise, he sent a reply.

Hi.

You bit your lip, sending another message.

Did I wake you?

Him:

That doesn't matter. Is everything okay?

You decided to let him sleep. So, you sent:

Yeah, sorry. I'm about to go to bed. You can get some rest. Night.

Him:

Okay, but let me know if there's ever something is wrong. Goodnight.

You placed your phone on the nightstand again, plugging in the charger. You stared at the ceiling, waiting for the sleep that never came.

--

Armin sighed, knowing you weren't okay. Her death effected everyone, but you were the one it effected most. He decided to not question you about it. If you ever wanted to talk about it, you would. He didn't want to bother you. He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

--

You sat at the table, drinking a cup of coffee. You finally fell asleep last night, but only for a few hours. You sip of the warm drink, hoping it would make you perk up.

Someone knocked on the door. You walked over to it and opened it, not caring about how you looked. You were still tired and didn't put on any makeup to hide it. You saw Armin.

"Armin, what are you doing here?" You asked, panicking on the inside. He didn't reply. He just wrapped his arms around you in one quick movement. You were startled.

"You can't sleep?" He asked. Your eyes widened and you pulled away from him.

"I don't know what you're talking about." You said, backing up. He stepped inside your house and closed the door.

"(y/n), I know you better than anyone." Armin replied. "Please tell me what's wrong."

"No," you told him, your voice shaking. "No, Armin."

"Is it about. . .?" He trailed off.

"About?" You pretended to not know what he was talking about.

"(Female friend's name)." He hesitantly said. That was all it took for you to snap.

"Yeah, it is." You replied.

"It's--"

"It's not okay." You said. "What are you going to tell me? That everything is fine and we can go party? Just like her other friend's who don't give a--"

"(y/n)."

"No, Armin. They don't care about her. They don't! They never did! They weren't there! They don't blame themselves every day, thinking 'what if I called right away?' They don't!" You exclaimed. Armin grabbed your wrists.

"(y/n)! That wasn't your fault! You didn't do anything wrong! You were shocked and afraid! Nothing would have changed! Things happen for a reason, even if we don't know what that is!" He replied. "Forgive yourself!"

You blinked, surprised. "Armin. . ."

"It's okay, you're going to be okay. Eventually." He said.

"How can you stay friends with me? I'm a mess and I always fall down." You asked, confused.

"I'll always be there to pick you up when you fall." Armin told you. "And I don't care if you're a mess or not, even though you aren't." He let go of your wrists, making your hands fall to your sides.

You realized that he had always been there for you. You suddenly had feelings for him that weren't there before. You looked into his eyes and bit your lip. You slowly leaned in and kissed him. He kissed you softly as if he was afraid you'd break if he pressed too hard. You deepened the kiss, showing him it was okay.

You placed your hands on the back of his neck and he placed his hands on your waist. You pulled away, but only because you needed oxygen. You smiled at him. He smiled back.

"I like you, Armin." You said.

"I like you too." He replied. You kissed him again.

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I love you.