badnews { jace norman }

thirteen

Sitting up, I grabbed my head and yawned. This was much worse than any hangover I've ever had.

I looked through the dark room, illuminated by the red blocked numbers on the alarm clock.

The numbers flashed 11:27. I hadnt remembered when I went to bed,  but it couldn't have been more than four hours ago.

I pulled the navy blue comforter over and laid back down harshly. His smell traced through his sheets, causing me to remember where I was.

I pulled the sleeves of the sweatshirt that had managed to stay up through my restless sleep back down and buried myself in the soft fabric.

For a few minutes I stayed laying down silently with my eyes open, taking in the warmth that I needed. But the creeking of the door budging open caused me to sit up.

"Hey, you're awake"

I nodded and ran my hands over my face.

He walked over and switched the dim lamp next to the alarm clock on.

"Why am I here Jace"

"You know why"

"Who the fuck are you to just take me when you want. You embarrassed the hell out of me"

"Is that all youre worried about?  Your ego? That's real typical of you."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Look, if I hadn't taken you outta there you would have done something stupid"

"That's not your problem what I do"

"Actually it is"

"Why would that be"

"Because I fucking care about you Margo" His voice rose after mine.

"I don't need you to care about me"

"I've already lost someone I loved to drugs. I'm not letting another get involved."

"What?" My voice dropped softly

He sighed "Nothing I just- I'm worried"

"Who did you loose..."

"It doesn't matter Margo"

"No" My hands grabbed his "I told you all the messed up things in my life.. Its your turn"

He sighed and looked at his fingers in between mine. "My sister..."

I watched him silently as he bit his lip, hesitating to tell me everything.

"She overdosed when I was tweleve, on meth. She used to tell me about her friends pressuring her into it. It wasn't like her, at all she just, got involved with the wrong people.."

I watched him take a staggared breath. I could feel him keeping himself from crying. He wanted to desperately. Like he had been keeping it in all these years. But there was nothing in his eyes but a lack of emotion.

"Its just hard you know?.. She was my best friend. She was the only one who understood what I went through with my dad, because she got it worse. Shed take it for me... She didn't even get to see how great life is right now, without him in it." His tone changed harshly "So dont fucking tell me that I shouldn't care"

"Jace... I didn't know I'm sorr-"

"Doesn't matter anyway."

I bit the inside of my cheek and looked down at his hands. He had pulled them away from mine, taking all the warmth with them.

"I told my mom you were staying the night. Didn't know when you would wake up but, you can leave tonight if you want. I'll drive you" His tone was distant. Colder than it usually was.

I sat, looking at my covered legs, hesitating to answer.

"If you wouldn't mind... I just, don't think I can deal with my parents tonight."

"I had my bed set up on the couch already anyway" His back was towards me, digging through his dresser.

"I'll take the couch. You can have your bed back."

"I'm fine-"

"No, I mean it. Take your bed."

I stood up and shivered quietly as the cold air hit my legs.

He looked at me and sighed
"Lay back down Margo. I don't care how stubborn you are I'm not letting you win this one"

I flopped down, sitting on the edge of his bed. "I feel bad"

"I'd rather it be me than you"

"Maybe I should just go home"

"Margo, no. You're staying here."

"Then you're sleeping in this bed"

"With you?"

I nodded and swallowed harshly "You were the one that said you didn't need any space from me"

He looked at me steadily "You sure this isn't just out of pitty?"

Guilt flooded me as I looked at his gental face, lying right to it. "No"

"...Only if youre sure"

"I'm sure"

He nodded slightly "Alright" 

He remained in his sweatpants as he turned around to take off his sweatshirt in exchange for a T-shirt

His bare muscular back faced me, his Calvin Klein band of his underwear showing just above his sweatpants.

He was a perfect person, with an imperfect life. The world was too cruel to give him anything better.

He got into the bed next to me. I shut off the light next to the bed and kept my distance from him. An empty gap separated us. The bed felt cold. Like the blankets were gone and I lay there by myself.

I felt bad for him to sleep on the couch while I bardged my way in by being an idiot. But I had so much on my mind. I felt so much pain for him. Pain that he couldn't bare to take for himself. But I found myself blurting, like I had no thoughts to stop me.

"Was it an accident?"

"No" He responded, like he knew what I was getting at.

"She did it because of your dad?"

"What other reason would she do it?"

"Maybe she didn't intend for it to happen-"

"That morning my dad had beaten her to the point that she had a black eye and a broken collar bone. She was forced to go to school and blame it on me if anyone asked. She left for school and that was the last time I saw her. It wasn't an accident."

I sat in silence.

"I hope everything works out for you, with your dad I mean."

"So do I."

He stayed quiet long enough to the point that I thought he was sleeping. Drifting off myself, his voice was hazily spoken.

"...Do you still get hurt? By your family I mean"

"No.."

"Will they be pissed that you stayed here?"

"Yep, but they'd be pissed if I came home at this hour anyway, so it doesn't matter at this point"

"I'm sorry..."

"Its not your fault"

"I meant, for yelling earlier. I know you get enough of that at home already."

"Its okay.."

He sighed and turned to face me
"Let me know when things get tough okay? I know you don't wanna talk about it but, I'm here. I don't want to loose you from slipping away too."

"I will.."

"Promise?" Through the red light he held out his pinky.

I smiled at his cheesy gesture and took his with mine.

"I promise Jace"