Captain America Bucky Barnes Winter Soldier Steve Rogers Fan Fic - The Constant

Chapter Twenty: The Nurse & The Patient - The First Metal Arm

The Nurse & The Patient - The First Metal Arm

They woke the patient up from the medically-induced coma 48 hours after the operation.

Nothing.

You have watched him since he woke and seen nothing of James's personality, of his mind, of any part of him. The patient is like an automaton. He will do what you say. He will eat what you offer him, dress with your help but he reminds you of what one of the doctors used to say when looking at traumatised soldiers who had lost their minds, 'the light is on but there is nobody home.'

James Barnes has gone. He is dead. And you are left looking after an empty shell.

What makes it so gut-wrenching is that he looks so like James, he smells like him; he is James but there is so much missing. There is no soul - nothing, but when you brush the hair out of his eyes you still see his blue eyes, see him looking at you because he now recognises that you are the one looking after him, seems to know you are there to care for him.

It is soul-destroying.

When he was first awoken his eyes were dead and he just lay there not moving. Each day you would get him up with Stefan's help, feed him, wash and clothe him. Because of the bare bone hanging from his left shoulder you could not use the shower so everything had to be done slowly, carefully.

After a few days he began to respond to you. He knew what was expected of him by rote. When you sat him at the table and put food in front of him he knew to eat, when you gave him a cup he knew to drink. When you lead him to the toilet he knew to urinate. When he goes to touch his left arm you tell him no and he obeys. When he is in pain he comes to you. But he never speaks.

They have reorganised things. Given you a new wardrobe for him. Black trousers, similar to what the guards wear, black tee shirts and polo necks, the left arm sleeve removed. His room has been altered to accommodate him. It is more comfortable. The door is kept locked at night and there is a slot in it so the guards can check on him if they need to. Lehmann is getting together equipment for a gym so that you can start an exercise programme for him.

They seem to know where he is going, even if you do not.

You have also found out what one of the new teams have been working so hard on, a cybernetic arm.

After two weeks, the daily routine begins to change. They expect him in the operating room. The flesh remaining on the left arm and shoulder is repairing at such rate that they cannot delay what they need to do any longer. They need to stop it, to do what is needed, and so they start to work on the rebuilding of his arm. The days they are to use anaesthetic you have to be careful with his feeding regime, days they don't you can catch up. He never refuses to go with you. He does everything you tell him to, never utters a word, but his eyes always follow you. He watches what you do, as if learning from you. He looks for you. If left to his own devices, it is you he always ends up next to.

And you?

You are kind to him, talk gently, never hurry him, and you do everything Doctor Lehmann tells you to do. You never think beyond the next 24 hours. You take one day at a time, always looking for signs of James but never seeing any.

Each day you and Stefan take him to the operating room and each day the new team and the doctors work on his arm. When they do not anaesthetise him they do use a numbing agent because they do not need to hurt him anymore; they have been there, done that.

When they are not working on their project they keep the arm in a cage-like covering to keep the bone clean and protected from harm. It makes it awkward for him to eat or sleep properly and there has to be someone with him 24 hours a day for the first few days until the new arm is in place.