The Winter Soldier & The Constant - December 1991
The 14th December 1991
They awaken him on the 14th of December. He is groggy at first, and doesn't know where he is; but then he recognises the woman sat next to him and the panic dies away. His mind is a blank, they are experts at what they take away and what they leave behind, more refined.
They leave him just the things he needs to function.
That and the knowledge that he is to wait for orders.
The doctors do their checks. The woman has left the room; he is trying to remember her name but he can't. She is important, but he doesn't know in what way. That feeling will only remain until his programming and then he will have no respect for her, no idea of her importance in his life.
The checks are completed and he is led away for programming. This session is intense, longer than it should be. When he comes out he is more uncoordinated than usual. They are concerned. Why, this time, had it taken longer to impress the victim's name on his mind?
He is taken back to his quarters, and a six hour guard placed on the door. The woman is waiting for him and he tries to ignore her; she is unimportant, just there for his use, that is all. She feeds him and stays whilst he sleeps. She is tired herself, and when she knows he is definitely down for the night she crashes into her bed and is asleep in minutes.
Half way through the night he cries out in his sleep, which is unusual for his first night. It does not awaken him but it does disturb her, and switching on a lamp she goes over to him. He is sweating heavily, fists clenched and she knows he is having a nightmare.
She leans over and shakes his shoulder, knowing that if the dream is a deep one it will take a while to wake him, but he comes to straight away, taking hold of her hand and almost crushing it. He sees who it is and it sounds almost like a low growl coming from him.
"You were having a bad dream," she says. She is used to this, used to pain from him - but she still winces and tries to take her hand away.
He looks at her and she recognises the sneer and it still hurts, after all these years. Still causes her pain.
He lets go of her hand. Literally pushes it away from him. She tries to smile and stands up. "Would you like some water?"
He nods, more to get her away from him than the fact he is thirsty.
He listens as she gets one from the kitchenette and when she returns he is rubbing his eyes. They are itching like mad.
"I saw a flying car," he doesn't realise he has spoken out loud. She knows he will be disorientated. "A huge globe hung in the sky, and a flying car..."
"Just a dream," she passes him the water and for a second he looks at her as if he was James and her eyes widen, but just as quickly his eyes become hooded and the look of disgust is back.
He takes the glass and drains it.
"Do you want me to leave the lamp on?" she asks, although it is never totally dark in their room.
He doesn't reply, just turns his back and pulls the covers over his shoulders. She puts a hand out to touch him but hesitates. It is too soon. She goes back to her bed and switches off the lamp. She can hear that his breathing is regular; he is asleep again, and she soon follows.
*
The 15th December 1991
You wake the next morning and prepare breakfast as he showers. When he comes into the kitchen you can smell the soap on him. His hair is wet and you would love to reach out and touch him but you know he will not allow it. Not yet.
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