The Constant & The Patient - Everyone Is Sorry For Something
Light is shining in under the door. It is never dark in here. You awaken to a mantra. The patient is sat up in bed next to you, eyes half-closed. Sweat runs down through his hair, over his face. He is talking, mumbling.
"...Sergeant James Barnes 32557038 US 107th. Sergeant James Barnes 32557038 US 107th. Sergeant James Barnes 32557038 US 107th..."
His right hand is clenched tight. There is such a heat pulsating out from him. You hear the words and panic. You too break out into a sweat; if anyone was to hear him, if anyone was to find out that any part of James Barnes was still in there - buried deeply into the patient's subconscious - God knows what they would do. They thought they were secure in the knowledge that they had destroyed Barnes completely.
You yourself don't know if he is in there, but the fact that the patient is using his old name gives you hope that one day James may come back.
"Wake up." You move so that you are in front of him. You shake his shoulders gently. "Come on, wake up!" You try not to sound panicked. You need to be calm, but you can feel the heat from your own panic. "Please wake up!" You shake him harder, but the mantra simply continues. There is no change.
He is in the nightmare; in deep, at the very bottom.
A door closes somewhere outside and you look at the clock. It's 11pm, not late but you know the guards will be patrolling and will open the slot in the door if they hear James talking. And what they hear will alert them. Then they will call Lehmann.
There is only one option open to you, for you have to act quickly.
"Wake up!" You slap him hard across the face. No change. "For God's sake, you need to wake up," you shake him harder. You try to slap him again and instead cold metal wraps itself around your wrist and stops you.
He is awake. The chant has stopped. You cannot see his face behind his hair so you brush it away. It takes a couple of seconds and then he looks up at you.
You recoil. You haven't woken the first personality, you have woken the second. Your heart drops through to your stomach and you feel sick.
"You were having a nightmare," you stutter.
You can see a red welt appearing on his cheek where you slapped him. His eyes bore into yours and flash. Then, that smile, that thin-lipped one you dread.
"I am the nightmare," he growls.
Everything happens so quickly. You are grabbed and thrown onto your back. You are barely aware that you are gabbling, apologising. He is above you now, straddling you, and that cruel smile is shadowed on his face. "Please, I'm sorry," you say but that seems to make the glint in his eyes harden.
You hear soldier's footsteps stop at the door but the patient ignores them. He knows they will not interfere. Instead his cold steel hand pulls at your nightdress. His eyes gleam the madness that is there coiled ready to strike.
You close your eyes.
The metal grid slides open in the door and you feel the patient shift slightly. He has turned to stare at the guard looking into the room. You would hate to be the guard on the end of that look because you know if the Winter Soldier recognises him he will remember him.
The metal slides quickly shut and the guards walk away. One is laughing shakily and telling the other one that the patient is safely occupied. To some of them that is your only use in life, to keep the patient occupied. It will be shift change soon and they can pretend they didn't see anything.
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FanficSergeant James Barnes thought he knew what he wanted in life. He went to war as a young confident soldier who thought he could cope with anything - safe in the knowledge that the person he loved the most would always be there for him. But then he is...