You went to the nearest motel and bought a cheap room. You just fixed your head and washed your hair. Then you laid down. You didn’t want to be with Sam anymore. He had hurt you. Not just emotionally, but physically. You loved Sam. More than anything. But you just couldn't risk being hurt again. It was too much.
He hadn’t just hurt you either. He told you all the things you had feared inside. You knew you weren’t good enough for Sam. He was a hunter. He killed monsters and saved people. You were just a journalist. You hoped to one day be an author. Sam supported your dreams and you took care of him when he was hunting. You didn’t ask him to stop because that would hurt him. He would be torn between you and his brother. You couldn’t hurt him like that. You loved him.
You loved him…
You began to cry into the pillow. Your heart was broken and the harmful words that had come from the man you loved rang through you head. You didn’t know what to say or do. You felt like a broken mess.
After an hour of crying, you decided to clean yourself up. You needed to pick your head up and act fine. You couldn’t show you were weak. You needed a place to stay and someone to help you get your things. You weren’t sure you could face Sam alone.
You called up your best friend Y/BFF/N.
“Y/N!” Y/BFF/N answered.
“Y/BFF/N,” you sobbed into the phone.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
You relayed what happened to her and she agreed to pick her up and take you to her place. She’d help you out until you found a new place. She was at your motel within a few seconds. She took you back to her place and allowed you to put your first suitcase in the guest bedroom.
“Get some sleep, sweetie,” she soothed you.
You had helped her through a lot of break ups and she was here to help you through yours. You layed down and fell asleep. The next morning, you didn’t want to get up and see Sam. But Y/BFF/N literally dragged you out of bed, made you shower, and got you dressed. She did your hair as well.
“If he tries anything, i will kill him. I have a shovel and garbage bag in my trunk to prove it,” she assured you.
She made you smiled and you both drove over to your old place.
Dean was out front.
“Listen, Y/N,” he spoke, “I know Sam messed up and i’m not trying to defend him, but he’s pretty bad. He’s beating himself up and… You’ve gotta talk to him, Y/N. He won’t listen to me.”
You didn’t respond. You faltered. You turned and tried to run back to the car, but Y/BFF/N grabbed you and stopped you.
“No. You have to do this,” she told you.
She dragged you inside with Dean watching from outside. There was a struggle between you two, but Y/BFF/N won and you noticed that Sam had come down the stairs. He looked sick and broken.
“How’s your head?” Sam asked, gently.
He wouldn’t look you in the eyes. You wanted to vomit. You couldn’t breath. You would give anything to have him hold you again.
Y/BFF/N rubbed your back.
“Breathe, Y/N, breathe,” she instructed.
You fell to your knees, unable to breathe. Y/BFF/N rushed outside. She always carried paper bags in her car. You were having a panic attack and it was worse than the others you’ve had. Sam knew you had them a lot. He kneeled next to you and held you tight to his chest, while rocking you. You were hysterical. Sam panicked and kissed you. The shock and level in breathing caused you to calm down and your panic attack stopped.
“I did this to you,” Sam whispered, not letting you go, “This is all my fault.”
You noticed Dean was blocking Y/BFF/N from entering and you felt uncomfortable.
“Sam, it wasn’t your fault. I just… I’m not right for you. And i love you so much and i wish i could change and be who you want me to be. Who you deserve. But i’m not. So i have to leave, so you can find someone better,” you explained, standing.
Sam grabbed you and pulled you back down onto his lap.
“You’re perfect. What i said was a mistake and i want you. Only you. No one else. I won’t touch another bottle or cup or nay alcohol ever again in my life. I just want you to come back,” Sam begged, clutching you to his chest.
You didn’t hesitate to grab him and kiss him. He kissed you back longingly. You broke apart and you rested your forehead against his.
“I love you too,” you whispered.
“You’re staying?” Sam asked.
You nodded and you both smiled.
“Hurt her again and i will kill you, Winchester,” Y/BFF/N shouted from outside.
You and Sam laughed. But nothing mattered because you were with your love.
