You and Sam had been dating for 6 months. He still hadn’t noticed that you self harmed and you liked it that way. If you had to explain the torment you received in college, you’d be embarrassed. Sam would probably just tell you to handle it. Or he would get involved.
The people hurting you mainly said cruel things. It didn’t affect you at first, but sometimes, hearing something be repeated over and over again can get it stuck in your mind. It made you start to think that way and it made you sick to look at yourself. You didn’t understand how Sam could care for you.
Lately, the bullying had turned physical and you would go home with bruises. You were thankful that Sam was hunting so he wouldn’t see.You shared a house with Sam, so he wouldn’t notice. Sam would probably hurt the people doing this to you because they were guys. You were a junior in college and they were seniors.
Today, you had a new black eye. You walked into your house and Sam was there. You didn’t know that he’d be coming house, so you froze in the doorway. You forgot about your black eye and hugged him tight. You kissed him and pulled away, giving him a smile.
“I missed you,” you told him.
“I missed you, too, Y/N,” he replied, “What happened to your eye?”
You reached to touch it and thought of an excuse.
“Oh, i bumped into a door. It’s nothing,” you lied.
“You’re lying. I hate it when you lie,” Sam said, “Tell the truth for once.”
You were taken aback. You never lied to Sam. This was the first time.
“What are you talking about? I never lie to you,” you said.
“Oh, come on, Y/N,” Sam groaned.
“Sam, what is your problem?” you asked, getting upset.
“You’re my problem. I’m stuck in this relationship. We both know it isn't going to work. You won’t open up to me. It won’t work if you don’t open up,” Sam said.
Sam’s words cut you deep. You told him everything except about the bullying and self harm. Sam was the one keeping secrets. But you loved him too much to push. And now this was happening.
“What are you saying?” you asked, fearfully.
Sam picked up his duffel.
“Goodbye, Y/N,” Sam said, walking out.
Sam had left you. For false reasons. Just like the guys at school told you would happen. Just like you prayed he wouldn’t.
You stared at the door for a few minutes, hoping he’d come back. Hoping he’d realize how wrong he was. But he didn’t.
You went into your shared room that was now empty on his side. You grabbed your blade from your pocket and started cutting at your wrist. Not too deep, but deep enough to hurt.
“Fuck up. Stupid. Fat. Ugly. Annoying. Worthless,” you listed with each cut.
You heard a thump. It sounded like something heavy being dropped. You stopped cutting and listened. There was no other noise. You turned to see what had fallen and noticed Sam staring at you with wide eyes and his bag on the floor. You gasped and tried to run past him and into the bathroom, but he grabbed you.
Sam yanked the blade out your hand and put it in his own pocket. He pulled you into a tight hug, ignoring the blood he got on his shirt. You broke down, crying hysterically.
“Why?” Sam asked, crying a little.
“Because everything they say is true. And you know it too,” you said, “And if you know it, then that means i can’t change and i’m stuck.”
“Who says such bad things to you to make you hate yourself?” he asked, something snapping in his eyes.
“A group of boys at school. You must think i’m stupid,” you replied.
“I left because i blamed you for why our relationship seemed to be failing. But it was all in my head. Because in my mind, i’m not good enough for you and you can find anyone else and leave me at anytime. And it scares me how you don’t. I love you so much,” sam told you.
He went to the bathroom and came back with a towel and the first aid kit. He started to clean your cuts.
“Did those boys also give you the black eye?” he asked.
You nodded slowly.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, softly.
“It didn’t seem important,” you responded.
“You are very important to me. I love you, Y/N,” he said.
“I love you too, Sam,” you said.
“Promise me you won’t ever do this again,” Sam ordered.
“I promised,” you said.
You both hugged and you felt safe in the arms of your savior.
