Dangerous Mind

Running

It was loud.
A lot was happening,
And I didn’t like it.
So many people,
So much noise,
I was suffocating.
I had to get out.
The sight of so many voices

Mixing together,
Swirling around,
Each thick thread tripping over the ones around it
Such a mess of colors
Some bright,
Some dull
All jumbled and confused
No clear purpose or direction
Swimming around me,
Pounding on my skull
It was overwhelming.
I had to get out.
In a crowd this size,
No one would notice
If I disappeared.

So I silently slipped out,
Finding relief in the cool night air,
Silky blue glass against my skin.
I walked,
The fading noise doggedly tagging along
Until it couldn’t reach any further.
I walked,
The pounding in my head slowly abating,
The red and yellow fading to pale orange.
I walked,
My footsteps soft, yet quick,
Slowing down the further I went.
I walked,
The wet grass sending bright, sharp blues
Across my bare feet.

I walked,
Further,
Further,
Until all that surrounded me was silence.
I stopped there,
Quiet,
Still,
In the unmoving calm of the night.
I breathed in cool periwinkle
And exhaled gray dust.
All was silent.
I started to run.

I ran,
Slowly at first, but gaining speed
Until I was nearly sprinting.
I ran,
My footsteps dark thumps
Against the cold, hard dirt.
I ran,
Ignoring the red laces of pain in my feet
From the rocks and thorns that decorated the ground.
I ran,
Jagged breaths tearing my throat apart
Sending sharp fire lines everywhere.
I ran,
As far as I could,
Without even really knowing why.
I ran,
Until I couldn’t run
Anymore.
I collapsed beside an oak tree,
My brown, heavy breaths and pounding black pulse
Loud in my ears.
My chest felt tight,
A thick blue core encased in dark red
My legs were burning,
Red and yellow ropes with orange glowing through
My feet stung,
Sparks fizzing all over
But slowly receding at the touch of the cool grass.

I sat against the oak,
The bark strangely soft against my skin.
Sitting between the roots protruding from the ground,
I leaned into its comforting embrace
And felt the soft darkness of sleep
Begin to steal over me.

I know I should have gone back.
Back to that frightening mess of colors.
I know I shouldn’t have even left.
But in that moment,
Sitting at the base of that great oak tree,
All I wanted to do was sleep.

So I did.