What do
You
Want me to doWhen it's taking
Everything
I have
Just to
Keep myself
RunningWhen I've
Drawn into myself
To
Protect
Me
From EverythingWhen I can
Barely
Even
Respond
To youHow do
You
Expect me to
Act okay when
Everything
Is
Screaming
At meAnd I can't fight back
Because
If I try
They'll hurt me
They will
No
They won't
I will
They want me to
Everything wants me to
And
I can't
Fight back
I can't
I can't
I don't know how
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm so sorryBut
What do
You
Want me to doWhen I
Can't do
Anything
More thanSurvive
Just
Survive
And that's
Hard enough
As it is
As things arePeople expect things of me
I'm expected
To
Do everything right
To
Be a good student
To
Get good grades
To
Set an example
To
Be okay
And
I tryI swear
I doI try
Is it enough?
Of course not
Because
That's not the end of itThere's always
Another
Class
Another
Grade
Another
Day
Another
Week
Another
Something to do right
Another
Person to impress
Another
Example to set
Another
Don't you dare mess up
Another
Everything
Always
Always moreAnd
I am
SurvivingBut it's
Not
EasyI'm not allowed
To
Just
Curl up into a ball sometimes
Make my own
Quiet little space
And hide there
Just for a minute
Because
Someone will worry
They'll think I'm not okay
And they'd be right
But they wouldn't know
That being like that is the closest thing I'll get to okay
And it would be better if they left me alone
Didn't sit down with me and pretend to care
Didn't report me to guidance for simply
Sitting down and bringing my knees to my foreheadSo
I'm sorry
If I seem tired
I'm sorry
If I seem sad
I'm sorry
I'm not doing well
I'm sorry
I don't know how to fix it
I'm sorryBut
What do you want me to do?
I can't just
Be happy
I can't just
Smile
I can't just
Be okay
And I'm sorry for that
I'm sorry
That this is the one thing
I can't figure out how to do right
I'm sorryI can do everything else
Just
Not
ThisI'm sorry
I can't do it
But you don't like it when I'm like this
No one does
So what do
You
Want me to do?I'm sorry
I'm not
Perfect.
I can be as perfect as I have to
In every other way,
But not like this.I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I just want to hide from everything.
~❤
YOU ARE READING
Dangerous Mind
PoesíaMy dark thoughts in the form of poems and short stories. Possible trigger warning, sorry. Current cover by @EveThePoet. Thanks :)