Dangerous Mind

1. 2. 3.

1.

I was home schooled until 5th grade.

My days generally consisted of 2 parts.  70% happy, 30% angry or sad or stubborn.

I considered myself weird for multiple reasons, but mostly because I wanted to be.

I had as many friends as I could've wished for.  From Church, my neighborhood, and our once-a-week home school group.

2.

5th through 7th grade.

Right before 5th grade, I went through 2 vaguely traumatic experiences.  A car crash and appendicitis.

Once I started public school, my days consisted of over-expressed emotions - extreme anger and lots of yelling, many bouts of tears, and a lot of embarrassment.  I was still adjusting to public school.  I wasn't used to being in a classroom with people for so long, and being so easily judged.  I'd never been in that kind of environment before, and it really messed with me.

I started wearing a ribbon on my wrist to express my individuality.  It was pink, because my mother had breast cancer.

I lost a lot of friends, and made few new ones.  We had stopped going to church for a while because my mom wasn't doing well, and when we finally came back, no one remembered me.

7th grade saw my first incident of self harm, though I didn't think of it like that at the time.

3.

8th grade until now, and likely for quite a while longer.

Depression.  Anxiety.  Cutting.  Scratching.  A suicide attempt.  Paranoia.  Panic attacks.  Passing out.

Sarcastic.  Cynical.  Reserved.  Desperate.

But I also fell in love.

And I'm still alive.