Dangerous Mind

Jealousy

I'm jealous of you.
You probably don't realize,
But I'm aware of it almost every waking moment.
Who am I talking to?
All of you lucky ones
Who aren't like me.
Who think darkness is just a little less light,
And not something inside your head.
Who've never willingly drawn blood
From themselves, when no one was watching.
Who barely know what a panic attack is,
And only breath harder than usual after exercise.
Who go through life without constantly wondering
What the point could possibly be.
Who, when you hear "suicide", think they took the easy way out,
And not the only way out.
Who have the blessing of not knowing,
Of not understanding.
Maybe it's strange to be jealous of you.
Maybe I should be content with myself,
Is that what you think?
Shall I just be content with myself,
With my darkness,
With my madness,
With my pain?
Live fully accepting of these scars,
That seem to curse my name when they're seen?
Yes, maybe I'll stop caring that I shouldn't want to die.
Such a good idea.
Then, when it finally happens, you can know that I was completely okay with it.
That I wasn't sorry at all.
Because obviously, it's completely all right.
Nothing wrong with wanting to die.
Yes, how illogical of me,
Being jealous of you.
How illogical.

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Word requested by tovaxoxo.

I didn't originally plan for this to be a sort of rant, but I hope you liked it anyway.

Comment a word guys, I'll write about it.

~❤