Perspective [Zarry]

013

"You smell awful." Harry said, hoping it didn't stay inside his car long after Zayn got out.

He cracked all of the windows, looking at Zayn next.

"Yeah? What do I smell like?" Zayn asked, sitting back and closing his eyes.

"Cheap cologne, alcohol and weed." Harry said.

"Nice nose." Zayn commented quietly.

"Cheap cologne isn't mine, and I didn't even drink that much." Zayn was still trying to convince himself.

"Hm. So this is how these parties end, is it? Everyone wasted and stumbling out to their cars or passing out on the front lawn." Harry observed.

"Glad I never went to any of these." He muttered.

"I usually don't, I only came for Niall." Zayn said weakly.

"You say that as if you actually go to parties." Zayn added.

"I do. But the ones I go to are much different." Harry said.

"Fascinating." Zayn mumbled.

Harry sighed quietly, pulling away from the curb.

They rode in silence for a while as Harry tried to find his way out of the neighborhood.

"I hate myself." Zayn said, his head spinning now instead of his surroundings.

Harry glanced at him, feeling guilty for what he was about to do.

"Why?"

He wanted to try and figure Zayn out, and what better way than to question him when he's drunk?

Zayn swallowed, trying to keep his emotions somewhat tame.

"We could be here all night." He warned.

Harry pulled over, parking the car and turning it off. "I have nowhere to be."

"I do but I guess the damage is already done." Zayn said.

"Why do you hate yourself?" Harry asked.

"Have you seen me?" Zayn asked, eyes still closed and his head still leaned back.

Harry looked over his features in what light they had. "A few times, sure."

"A few times?" Zayn repeated.

"Yeah. I think there are only a few times I've truly seen you. The rest was just seeing the defense you put up." Harry said.

His words poked at a part of Zayn he didn't know anyone else could reach, and that made him very uncomfortable.

"I don't have a defense, you don't know what you're talking about." Zayn said, making Harry smile knowingly.

"Okay. So, go on." Harry said.

Zayn sighed again. "This isn't who I am. I don't go out and make an idiot of myself in public, getting so torn up I can barely walk and making out with strangers. It's disgusting and I hate myself for it. I hate myself for being so angry, and sad, and confused, and cold. I hate it."

Harry listened closely, watching him.

Zayn slowly licked his lips. "Tonight is just the tip of the iceberg. Just a fraction of the reason why I hate myself. Too much salt or pepper on the meal that is my regret."

Harry's eyebrows inched closer together with interest.

"You make it sound like it's the end of the world. Each new day is a chance to start over, you know." Harry said.