Love Me (Completed)

Chapter 44 - Push Away

Everything is just so wrong at this point of my life. I'm still young and there are still so many things life could throw at me. I don't know if this is one of them because nothing is going right and I just want to cry out of frustration. Why me? I just want someone to love me like I love them. It's that simple yet I couldn't have it.

Now even David is gone and I deserved it. But doesn't mean that I couldn't get sad over it. I know it's stupid doing this but I just want to forget everything tonight. Niyaya kong uminom si Flynne at si Liam. They agreed to come. Liam knows that even if they don't I'd do it alone or yayayain ko si Cedric. And Cedric is not really a good choice when you want to get drunk.

I just need it. Need not to feel anything even just for tonight. I told them everything after it happened. Pinuntahan ako ni Liam sa bahay and tried comforting me but it isn't working because it's not comfort I need but I appreciate his presence. Binilhan pa niya ako ng red velvet cake and he just patted my back before he went home.

Hindi pa alam ni Papa and I don't know how to tell him. And dami kong problema and I want a break from my thoughts right now. 

"I don't need your pity." I said when I caught them staring.

"Who said we pity you? Napapaisip lang ako kung kanino ka natuto uminom." Liam retorted.

Pity is the last thing I need right now and Liam knows it. Of course he did. Somehow he always know.

"Cheers." Flynne clinked her glass to mine.

Kaya sila ang niyaya ko dahil alam kong hindi nila ako susubukan icomfort. I'm already past that stage. I can't be comforted by words anymore. Nothing's ever going to be okay and I know that by now.

I know if I ask David he will come but I know he will just talk me out of it and maybe even stopped me from drinking at baka maguilty pa siya. But these two? They will never do that.

Uminom lang ako ng uminom at sinabayan naman ako ni Liam. Pero mostly ako ang umubos ng alak dahil ihahatid pa niya pauwi si Flynne.

My head was already spinning when he helped me outside.

I thought he was putting me in a cab but it's too late when I realized the familiar smell and the familiar guy driving beside me. His mouth is set into a thin line and the way his jaw clenches, it's obvious that he's stopping himself for scolding me.

Liam called Sebastian! I should have known he would do this. Of course he wouldn't put me in a cab while drunk.

It's ironic that the person I'm with right now is the root of my problems. Sa kanya nagsimula ang lahat ng ito at ngayong gusto kong makalimot ay siya ang makakasama ko.

I only complained when I saw that he didn't drive me home but instead to his apartment. I pushed and kicked when he tried to get me out of his car.

"Come on. Hindi ka pwedeng umuwi ng ganyan kalasing." He said patiently.

That was the only time I let him carry me up to his place.

"I hate seeing you like this." He said once I was settled on his couch.

I'm not even half as drunk as him when he last drown himself in alcohol. I'm just buzzed and the room is just spinning. If I stay for one more hour makakauwi na ako.

"Then you shouldn't have come. Sana iniwan mo nalang ako doon."

"I will always come for you, Viktoria."

"No." I let out a bitter laugh. "You didn't. Stop saying things you don't mean. Please."

"Bakit ka ba nagkakaganyan?"