The Day You Said Goodbye [COMPLETED]

Chapter 1

"I never knew that promises are portal to new mistakes."

- Zacharius (2020)

THE DAY YOU SAID GOODBYE
(CHAPTER 1)

Maybe love really doesn't end well. There are stories in various books where both protagonists have a happy ending - only nefarious villains end up sad and pitiful. In our case, maybe we are not the protagonists or maybe it is not a fairy tale story to begin with.

The worst thing about being in a relationship is the ending but it is more difficult if you had it with your best friend because after the break up, you can no longer be friends. You are merely strangers who shared memories in the past.

Most people say that you can still be friends but in my point of view, staying friends with your ex means the love still exist. We just have to accept the fact that the relationship will never be the same. There is a gap that will hinder both of you from being close.

"Mosquitoes might enjoy biting you," someone from my back said. As expected, it's him, Samuel. "Let's go inside, Annastasia."

Samuel is Zach's cousin. We have been together since Zach left. It has been a year when he went to Paris, to continue his ambition. We did not have a closure dahil hindi ko pa kaya noon at sa palagay ko, mas mabuti na yun. I was the one who ended it so I have no reason to demand for a closure. I could still remember...

"You must have told me, Tash!" he yelled as he had a tight grip on my hands. He is burning mad because he saw me with my best friend.

"Damien was never my reason for breaking up with you, Zach!" I replied as tears keep cascading down my cheek. "We are just friends at sa lahat ng taong nakakaalam non, dapat ikaw yon!"

"Huwag mong baliktarin ang usapan, Tash. I saw you with my eyes. You are flirting with that guy!" he pointed his finger on me which I swerved off by hitting it. "Magkayakap kayo sa bar and that's not what bestfriends do!"

"How can you even say that?! He is there to console me. Ikaw lang ang madumi ang isip--" before I could finish what I were to say, he shut me with his lips.

He pressed them harder and I could feel the roughness in it. By the way how he pull off my shirt and caress my body, I know he's not the one I used to love. Suddenly, images flashed in my mind. I saw how he courted me, how we became official and how we celebrated all the important events in our life. He is different from the Zach I happen to love before.

"How did that fucking Damien kiss you? Or maybe he did more than I could imagine." The time he said that and it sank in my head, tears went heavier. "You are such a bitch behind this innocent face!"

I slapped him hard enough to make him realize what he just said. He stopped when he decipher every single detail, every single word and every single thing he did. I covered myself and cried.

"If that's what you want to hear, fine! We had sex and he is way better than you! I enjoyed every single kiss he used to mark me and you are not an inch closer to how he performed!" Of course, that is not true. None of which is true because I just said what he wanted to hear. "Masaya ka na?"

He didn't utter a word. I look at his face and I saw how tiny drops of water fall from his eyes. He went out and slammed the door while I was left cold and bare inside the room.

I came back to my senses when Samuel sat beside me. He gave me a smile and offered me his coat. I smiled back and turn my gazes in the shore.

"This place is so good for reminiscing memories, isn't it?" he spoke out of the blue and only a nod satisfied his question. "But memories are not worth reminiscing especially if they could cause you pain."

"Sam, am I a bad person?" I asked as I turn my attention into him. He look at me, wondering about the question I threw. "About what I did to Zach."

He gave me comforting hand around my waist and offered his shoulder for me to lean. "What you did was right. You have to understand that right things could hurt people sometimes."

This is what I liked about Samuel. He gives worthy advice. We could talk all night long because he is a good listener, far different from his cousin. Zach is just silent who doesn't want to talk about petty things. Maybe it's because he was raised and has grown to be an introvert.

"You think so?" I asked once more and he nodded.

"Can I ask you something, Annastasia?" I paid my attention to him. "What are we now?"

That question made me stumbled. I did not see that coming especially at this moment. I had a hard time thinking what to say and I cannot grasp the exact words. I don't want to hurt him either because he stayed by my side for a long time and I know, Samuel is the reason why I could still stand at this situation.

"We are already together, Sam," I said as I heaved a deep breath. "You don't have to ask anymore."

"But you still love him, don't you?" he asked in return. "I know you missed him."

I was surprised with his question. Somehow, the questions are touching the wounds I used to heal. I gave him an unbelievable look. Then, the wind started blowing as we sat near the shore. It was cold and painful.

I shove my eyes on the bright reflected moon in the ocean. The surroundings was black and the only thing that gives light is the passing moon in the sky.

"Don't bring back the memories, Sam," I calmly stated. "Zach and I were lovers in the past and that's it. We broke up, he went to Paris and you happen."

"You did not answer my question, Annastasia," he said with a sad tone on his voice. I never heard this sound from deep in his heart.

"What do you want me to say then?!" I lashed out and was carried away. "That I miss him? That I still love him? That I regretted breaking up with Zach? Is that it?!"

"No!" he firmly said. "I want to hear from you that you don't love him anymore. That I wasn't a cover up to hide the pain and regrets."

"I did not use you as a rebound, Sam." Tears began cascading on my cheek.

"Tell me, Annastasia," he started and paused for few seconds. "In the past 12 months of being together, what am I to you? A friend, a boyfriend or just your acquaintance?"

I was stunned into silence that moment. I couldn't even speak and I am chasing my breath. The pain doubled than I expected. I won't dare answer him not because I still love Zach but because I don't know what to say. I don't understand myself too. The decisions I made and the path I took, I'm not sure about them anymore.

Sam left me in the shore. His shoulders were heavy as he walk away. I watched him walk slowly away from me and I can't stop whining. Why do I push people who could possibly care about me?

"I'm sorry, Sam." I whispered in the air.

He look at me with pain in his eyes. It seeks the deepest explanation inside me and I could last the way he stare at me. Those eyes tell that they needed an answer which I know I could never give.

I heard him sniffed, no, he was sobbing and I could hear the pain scattered in the air as the moon slowly fades. I have never seen him this sad. He's usually energetic and used to decline the negativity in every situation. Maybe it was because of the bear that we drank a while ago since we came here with friends to celebrate.

"Why can't it be me?" he asked, ended sobbing. "Why do you keep on making me feel less than my cousin?"

"I'm sorry, Sam."

I looked on the splashing waves on the shore and I felt the embraving coldness of air. Is this what we get from loving? Maybe I really don't know how to love. Can I be someone who could possibly appreciate those who love her?